Channel 5
by dolphinz.amazon
Summary: Modern AU in which Merlin Emrys (descendant of the original Merlin) is trapped on a TV channel by an evil witch. His programme is on every morning at 3:00. He needs help from a very special viewer to be saved and returned to the world.
1. Chapter 1

Merlin couldn't remember how long it had been like this. An evil witch had enchanted him simply because he was a descendant of the original Merlin, who was a sorcerer in Camelot while sorcery was outlawed and for a long time did nothing to protect the innocent sorcerers. She believed it had been that Merlin's inaction that had caused her great (great great great great great... etc.) grandfather to be burned at the stake. Since the original Merlin was long gone, she punished this Merlin instead. Every day, Merlin was trapped inside a small room. There was nothing in the room; it was completely blank. Merlin got food, water, and other necessities only by using his magic. And every morning at 3 o'clock, Merlin was on the television. It was simply a video of whatever Merlin was doing in the room at the time. Merlin had originally hoped that he would be able to reach out to his viewers and have them rescue him, but this scenario had a few major flaws. First, he had almost no viewers. Most people didn't watch the telly at 3 in the morning. Those who did happen to stumble upon his channel quickly got bored and switched. Merlin tried using magic and doing other things to entertain them, but most of them still didn't stay. On the rare occasion that someone did stay, Merlin would tell them of his predicament and ask for help. Help never came, though whether this was because viewers thought it was just part of the plot or they were actually unable to help, Merlin wasn't sure. It didn't matter anyway. He had just about given up hope, but he was still desperately trying to find some sort of solution, completely lost in thought. And that's why he didn't notice Arthur.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur only really watched television when he was ill. He would make himself a big cup of tea with lemon, pull the rubbish bin up by the side of his bed for used tissues, and flip through channels until something decent caught his attention. If he wasn't feeling too bad, he would start up his laptop, but mostly he was too paranoid of sudden sneezing or coughing, and didn't want to risk germing up the keyboard. So boring telly it is.

But that night, for some inexplicable reason, Arthur decided, to hell with it, and reached for the remote resting on the opposite pillow to turn the television back on.

The medicine he took messed up his sleeping habits, so it wasn't uncommon for him to wake up in the middle of the night, throat sore, breathing through one nostril, and terribly miserable. He always turned the telly off before going to sleep, to save electricity, and kept it off even if he knew there was no hope of falling back into sweet, painless slumber. He would simply lay there with his eyes determinedly shut, willing himself to sleep, sleep dammit, if only for the hope that his symptoms would be less when he woke up the next time.

The light hurt his eyes at first, and he browsed channels looking practically through just his eyelashes. But they eventually adjusted, and he was able to make out what programmes he was passing.

He only gave them about a two second appraisal; cooking, advert, rerun, old film, advert, advert—

Hmm. What was this? Arthur sat up. The screen was white, completely blank except for a dark figure sitting cross-legged in the centre. The length of their hair suggested it was a male, but the clothes were a bit baggy, so it could have just as easily been a female. Arthur couldn't tell for certain, because their head was hanging down and he couldn't see their face due to the distance of the camera. But it was odd. What kind of programme was this? It was just some person sitting in an empty white space, doing nothing.

Arthur's nose started to drip, so he put down the remote and grabbed a tissue to blow it, tossing it in the bin beside him afterwards. When he looked up at the screen again, the person had moved, uncrossed their legs so they stuck straight out, toes to the side, and was staring straight ahead.

Straight at Arthur.

Arthur shook the idea from his mind. The man—because it was a man, Arthur could determine now—was only looking in the camera. This was probably some weird indie film experimenting with angles and a lack of a soundtrack. Arthur pressed the info button on the remote.

?

That was strange. No description? Not even a channel number or name? Not even the duration length? Surely Arthur would have come across this channel before. There were only so many out there.

The man on the screen stood up and walked forward, straight towards the camera. Then, he changed his mind and began to pace the room. The man clearly looked frustrated about something. Finally, he looked at Arthur- no, at the camera- again, and his face lit up. "Finally, a viewer!"


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin was so shocked at first, he wasn't sure what to say. It had been a long time since anyone had watched this channel, so he was surprised to finally have a viewer again. He tried to think of how to explain the situation without scaring the person off. "This is... oh, forget it. I'll just cut to the chase. I'm trapped. Not like cliche plot trapped, actually trapped. I know you're probably thinking this is made up or I'm insane or something, but I promise I'm telling the truth. I've been stuck in this channel for..." he racked his brains for an answer. It felt like forever. There was no way to keep track of time here. For all he knew, it could have been decades. "a long time. A _very _long time. And I need your help." Merlin looked at the status bar above the camera, showing that the person was still on the channel. Good, he hadn't scared him off yet. Or her. Merlin reminded himself not to make assumptions. He sighed, thinking for a minute. "I wish I could tell you how to fix all of this, how to get me out of here, but honestly? I have no idea. And of course, I have no way to communicate with you." Merlin frowned in thought, wondering what else there was to say. "I suppose while I'm here, I might as well explain how I got here. You probably won't believe me, but I promise it's true. Of course, you have no idea if my promises mean anything, but I guess you'll just have to trust me. Or not. Anyway, this is how it happened:

"I was on my way to work- I'm a computer programmer, in case you were wondering- when I ran into this old lady. Yeah, literally ran into her." Merlin cringed. "She wasn't too happy about that, obviously. I helped her to her feet, apologizing profusely. Then she asked me my name. I introduced myself to her, and she gave me a strange look when I said my name was Merlin Emrys- wait, have I not told you my name yet? How rude of me! I'm Merlin Emrys," he said, extending his hand as if the viewer was there to shake it. "Yeah, anyway, so I introduced myself to her, and she asked if I was a descendant of the original Merlin. I told her yes, and then she got mad. Like, really mad. She started cursing at me in the Ancient Language- that's the language of magic- and she called me the descendant of a liar and traitor. She blamed the original Merlin for her great (great great great... you get the idea) grandfather's death. He was burned at the stake for using magic while Merlin, king Arthur's manservant, stood idly by, hiding the secret of his own magic. I asked her to be reasonable, told her to leave me alone, all that, but she wouldn't stop yelling at me. Then, she cursed me to live in a TV forever.

"My programme comes on at 3:00 every morning. After that hour, I'm stuck in the same room, but nobody is watching me anymore. I wonder what happens to this channel when I'm not here." Merlin thought about this a moment. "Maybe it just goes blank. Or maybe some other random programmes or commercials come on. I don't know. I suppose you'll find out if you keep watching."

Merlin sighed. "I really wish I knew a way for you to help me. Hopefully you're ingenuitive and resourceful enough to figure it out. I also think I should probably do something to keep you entertained so you come back here, but... I don't have any good ideas. No, wait." Merlin smiled.

"Because of my name and my coding skills, I was often called a computer wizard. Little did my co-workers know, I can do actual magic, too." Merlin conjured a plate of food. "This is how I haven't died of starvation," he said, digging in. He conjured a glass of water, too, for good measure. Then, he went for something more drastic. A giant dragon made out of fire appeared in front of Merlin. Merlin sat on the dragon, and they rode around the small room. The dragon disappeared, and Merlin chuckled. "So you can see, I've got plenty of things to avoid getting bored." Merlin made a computer appear, and he held it up. "I'd been hoping that maybe I could get help online, but I can't seem to get wifi. I guess that's one thing that can't yet be done with magic." Merlin looked at the status bar again. He had half an hour left still.

"You know what? I'm just going to ramble and hope you find that interesting. I was born in a rural village called Ealdor, but my mother Hunith sent me to London when I was 10. My father Balinor had died and she couldn't take care of me by herself, so she sent me to my uncle Gaius. I went to Dragon elementary school, and there I met my best friend Freya. A few years later, my friend from Ealdor, Will, moved to London. Will and Freya both know about my magic, but they're the only ones. Well, except for Gaius. He's known ever since he took me in. As soon as he realized I had magic, he told me to keep it a secret, for fear I would be taken by scientists for testing or something. That being said, he wanted me to learn how to control my magic, so he got me a tutor. He told me I had to meet the tutor, not vice versa, so he sent me off to this cave really far off in the wilderness. I was expecting to find some old grumpy hermit or something, but no. I saw a dragon! A real live dragon! He looked like..." Merlin conjured up an image of a giant golden dragon. "this. His name's Kilgharrah. He told me that I was the last dragonlord, and I inherited the gift from my father. It means not only can I do magic, I can also command dragons and they have no choice but to obey. He's been teaching me how to use my magic, telling me I am destined to use it for great things. He keeps going on about destiny. It's really annoying. And he seems to think I'm going to accomplish these things with someone else. He told me 'the story of Arthur and Merlin will repeat itself'. So apparently I'm just supposed to find a guy called Arthur Pendragon? I don't know, maybe the name doesn't matter.

"Gaius doesn't know, but I've been using magic to help me with my schoolwork for pretty as much as long as I've been in school. I'm not cheating on tests or anything like that, I just use magic to help me retain information and complete my homework faster. After all, magic lessons take a long time, and I need to get some sleep. I went to Camelot High, where I got teased a lot for my name. But my name wasn't that strange, considering that lots of other people there had names from Arthurian legends. Gwaine was the popular kid at school, going on dates with anyone who'd say yes and making friends with anyone who wouldn't. Gwen was my friend, but we kind of drifted apart after she fell in love with Lancelot and stopped spending time with me and my mates. I still hang out with her brother, Elyan, though. Mordred is a bully. He used to be my friend, but then he started teasing me and picking on my friends. I told him to leave, but he didn't listen. I used my magic to make his life miserable. Nothing too obvious, just a lot of things that could be attributed to bad luck. Tripping, losing stuff, having his clothes ruined, that kind of thing. Don't tell anyone I said that. Gaius and Kilgharrah tell me I'm not supposed to use magic for things like that.

"When I graduated high school, I went straight to work because I didn't have the money to go to a university. I got a computer programming job that didn't require a degree and worked at that for a few years before I got the money to go to Pendragon University. Seems a bit presumptuous, naming a university after a person who hasn't even done anything historically important, but whatever. It's a good university, even if the founder, Uther, is a jerk. I've heard his son isn't too bad, though. So, yeah, I'm studying computer programming at the university, and I've still got that job on the side. I'm pretty busy. Or rather, was." Merlin buried his face in his hands. "That's why I need your help." He looked at the status bar again. "And it looks like my time is just about up. Please come back tomorrow!" The screen went black.


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur stared at the screen, wondering what would happen next. The background changed to a cluttered bedroom. A girl walked in. She smiled at the camera. "Hello, I'm Freya, Merlin's friend." A boy burst in and jostled Freya.

"Hey, I'm Merlin's friend, too! My name is Will."

"And we're here to talk about Merlin."

"Wait, Freya, how do we know this will even work? Isn't Merlin on like a secret channel or something?"

"Channel 5. Well, more like channel 5.5, since there's already a channel 5. And as to how it will work, we'll just ask Kilgharrah. You know how good he is with that sort of stuff." Kilgharrah? The dragon? Maybe there was another person name Kilgharrah. Except that it wasn't exactly a common name.

"Oh, fine." Will sighed. "So, the problem is..."

"Will, if they're still watching, they probably know what the problem is already. And I thought we agreed I would start, anyway." Will glared. "So, Merlin is stuck inside a TV channel- the channel we're broadcasting this on."

"We're trying to figure out what to do, but we need your help."

"As soon as we have more information, we'll broadcast our findings here. In the meantime, keep watching this channel."

"We should come up with some sort of secret code," Will suggested.

"What for?"

"So anyone watching can get in contact with us."

"Ah! That's a great idea. Got anything in mind?"

"Nope."

"'In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man.' How about that?"

"It's kind of long. How about 'The warlock has left Camelot'?"

"Hm. I like it. We should ask Kilgharrah to come up with a code, too."

"Agreed."

"But why would someone want to help Merlin, anyway?"

"What do you mean, why? He's our friend!"

"Yes, but most people watching don't know him or us. We have to convince them." Will looked directly at the camera.

"I wish this hadn't happened, but as it is, we really need your help. I know you don't know Merlin, but he is the best person I have ever met. He is kind, intelligent, resourceful, selfless, and he has a good sense of humor, too. He's been an invaluable member of the company he works for, and he improves the lives of all those around him. If he were to not come back..." Will let the sentence hang, there, and Arthur felt dread at the idea.

"Merlin has meant so much to me. All my childhood, I was bullied and abused. By my classmates, by my peers, even by my family. Merlin protected me from the bullies and stood up to them. He told me I was worth more than that. When I confided in him about my family's abuse, he told me to get help. Gaius adopted me, and he became like my brother. Well I guess technically, he's my cousin." Freya smiled a little. "So I- we- need your help. Keep watching; I think Kilgharrah's going to put something on next. We'll be on at 4AM again tomorrow, assuming we have something to say."

"And if you want to get in touch with us, we'll be in chat room 5 on the forum. Look for the username 'enternainmet_at_Ealdor'- that's me- or 'Lady_of_the_Lake'- that's Freya. We won't engage in further conversation unless you give us the code. If you give us Kilgharrah's code, we'll know not to fill you in on his bit."

"I think that's about all, Freya said," smiling sweetly, the hope evident in her voice. "Talk to you again soon." The screen went black.

Arthur thought for a moment. He definitely wanted to help Merlin, and it seemed like Freya and Will might know how to do that. But he wasn't just sure he wanted to jump into this yet. He'd at least wait for Kilgharrah, whoever- whatever- he was.

The screen flickered on again, and Arthur saw a cave. He sat patiently and waited for Kilgharrah to arrive.


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin didn't know if he dared hope. Somebody had watched his channel! And stayed through the whole programme! Others had done that before, but they never came back. So he was still stuck. Would this person be the same, or would Merlin finally have a chance at freedom? Of course, there was nothing Merlin could do about it now. His programme was over, and he was trapped in the blank room.

Merlin felt a torrent of emotions raging inside him- fear, anger, frustration, impatience, despair, depression, and just a tiny bit of hope. And while he'd used his magic recently, he hadn't done anything really big, so the power within him cried for release. He did what he always did in situations like this: he let it all out.

Dark, ominous storm clouds loomed over Merlin, hovering just below the ceiling. With a flick of his hand and a few strange words, it began to rain. Not little droplets but heavy sheets, a torrential downpour of everything Merlin had been keeping inside. Lightning crashed and thunder rolled. The smell of electricity and smoke filled the air, as well as another, more pleasant scent: petrichor. Merlin was soaked, and he considered casting a spell to dry himself, but then stopped. He remembered that feeling the wet and the cold was part of the release.

Then a thought occurred to him. Checking to see that his programme would not be on for several hours still, Merlin created a bathtub and began to fill it with hot water. Not cold, not scalding, but just right. Merlin was glad he still had his magic. He didn't know how he'd survive without it. As he lay in the hot water, Merlin wondered what was happening on his channel, channel 5. The initial viewer was still watching, so there must be something going on. Merlin only hoped this person would be able to help him. But that was a problem for a few hours from now. Merlin sank into the water and, just for a while, let his troubles melt away.


	6. Chapter 6

Arthur fixed his eyes on the screen, waiting for Kilgharrah's arrival. Finally, the dragon flew down into the view of the camera. He looked just like the picture Merlin had shown. The dragon looked right at the camera, and it felt as if he were staring into Arthur's soul.

"Greetings, young viewer," it said. Arthur jumped back, startled. He hadn't expected the dragon to speak. Or to have a voice like that. The dragon sounded less like a fierce, powerful creature and more like an old professor. "Or old viewer. But then again, most everyone is young compared to me. But enough with that. My name is Kilgharrah, and I am here on behalf of Merlin Emrys." Kilgharrah nodded in respect to Merlin. "I worked for the original Merlin, and I helped him to reach his destiny. Throughout the years, I've helped his descendants. I have to help Merlin Emrys because he is the last dragonlord, but even if I didn't have to, I would all the same. He is a worthy man, and he needs your help. He has been trapped in a programme on this channel by an evil witch. I have tried to free him, but it's not as simple as one might think, and I need more people to help me.

"You and he are two sides of the same coin. He is destined to receive your help, and you are destined to give it to him. Now, that doesn't apply to all of you, as some of you may disregard this message, but at least one of you will help him. He is destined for great things, and if you help him, you are destined for great things also. You will become close friends, and together, you will achieve things that others could only dream of. You will have your differences, but they will unite instead of divide and make the pair of you stronger. You may think helping Emrys will damage your reputation, but it will make people think much more highly of you. You may not trust me, and you may not trust this stranger I ask you to help, but if you go through with us, we will not be strangers by the end of it. Whatever you think, listen to this: if you help Merlin Emrys, you will not regret it." Kilgharrah said all of this with a serious tone, and Arthur could tell that he truly meant it. Now Arthur knew that Merlin wasn't lying when he complained about how Kilgharrah kept talking of destiny. Arthur didn't really understand the whole destiny rant, but he kept listening.

"Merlin's friends have asked me to provide a code so that they will know you have heard my speech. My code is 'two sides of the same coin'. I highly suggest you talk to them, but of course I cannot force you. I will say this, though: if you choose not to help Merlin, you will seriously regret it."

Arthur thought through all of this. It was so much information to process. And he was so tired. Arthur remembered that he really should in bed by now. He sighed and decided to sleep on it. Maybe a solution would present itself in the morning. At any rate, a few hours wasn't going to hurt anything. Arthur crawled into bed and closed his eyes, drifting into strange dreams of warlocks and dragons.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Emrys"_, Merlin heard a voice calling. It had been a while since he had communicated by telepathy, and he hadn't realized the signal could get through to the channel.  
_"Yes?"_  
_"It's Mordred. You've helped me before, and now I want to help you."_  
_"That's great! What do you have in mind?"_  
_"Well, I've tried using my magic, but it doesn't work."_  
_"I know. I've tried, too. You should talk to Will and Freya. I bet they have some ideas."_  
_"Okay. I'll talk to you again as soon as I find out anything. How are you doing, by the way?"_  
_"All right, I guess. I'm kind of bored. I really want to get out of here."_  
_"We miss you."_  
_"I miss you, too. And..."_  
_"What?"_  
_"Be careful. We don't need anyone else to get bewitched."_  
_"You know me."_  
_"That's why I'm worried."_  
_"Oh, come on!"_  
_"You and I both know how reckless you are. Just... tone it down a bit, okay?"_  
_"Fine. Talk to you again soon, Emrys."_  
_  
_It was funny, normally Merlin was on a first name basis with everyone, but Mordred always called him "Emrys". Between them, it was actually a friendly gesture, though neither of them understood why. Merlin was about to go to sleep, when he heard Kilgharrah calling.  
_"Greetings, young warlock."_  
_"What now? Are you going to babble on about destiny again?"_  
_"Actually, yes."_  
_"Can't you just leave me in peace?"_  
_"Do you want to be free or not?"_  
_"Oh, alright then. But make it quick."_  
_"One cannot rush destiny."_  
_"Yeah, whatever. Just get on with it."_  
_"It will take some more time to know for sure, but I believe the other side of your coin has arrived."_  
_"What coin?"_  
_"Your other half."_  
_"My soulmate? Please tell me you're not going to spout some romantic nonsense."_  
_"No, romance isn't part of this. It could be, I suppose, but it's not important at any rate. What is important is that this person is destined to save you. I've been looking at the stats and I saw that for the first time, someone watched through all three programmes."_  
_"All three?"_  
_"Yes, yours, Will and Freya's, and mine."_  
_"Well that's promising."_  
_"Indeed."_  
_"So do you think they'll take action?"_  
_"I do not know yet. Give it a few hours. I'll let you know if anything happens."_  
_"So is this the person you keep telling me I'll unite with and we'll do great things together?"_  
_"That would be the one. If he is indeed the person of your destiny, you will be glad to meet him."_  
_"Wait, why does it have to be a guy?"_  
_"My apologies, young warlock, I didn't mean to be sexist. I do not know the gender of this person, but I know they will be great."_  
_"Well they better hurry up. I'm dying of boredom here."_  
_"Patience, young warlock."_  
_  
_Merlin sighed and decided it was finally time to rest. He used his magic to make a comfortable bed, then crawled in and fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Arthur logged on to the chat room Will and Freya had mentioned. He considered choosing the username "Once_and_Future_King", but he decided that was too pompous and too closely linked to his name, so he settled on "Fortheloveofcamelot" instead.

**Fortheloveofcamelot has entered the room, Albion chat**

**Citizenofcamelot200 has entered the room**

**Wizards_Witches_and_Warlocks has entered the room**

**Druid_boy42 has entered the room**

**Truekingofcamelot has entered the room**

**Citizenofcamelot200: **I think I might have magic.

**Wizards_Witches_and_Warlocks:** Are you sure? Did your eyes flash gold and everything?

**Citizenofcamelot200: **Yeah. What do I do?

**Wizards_Witches_and_Warlocks:** Be careful.

**Truekingofcamelot: **You do know magic is illegal, right? I could have you killed for this.

**Citizenofcamelot200: **You haven't seen me use magic or confess to using it. And I'll probably move out of here anyway, and then you can't enforce your laws on me.

**Druid_boy42: **I think I know how to help. Let's talk in a private chat, away from all these nosy people.

**Wizards_Witches_and_Warlocks** **has left the room**

**Citizenofcamelot200 has left the room**

**Druid_boy42 has left the room**

**Truekingofcamelot: **Who's coming here next to try to defy my rule? I must visit more often; this seems to be a hole of illegal activity.

**Truekingofcamelot has been permanently removed from the room**

**The_Great_Dragon: **Apologies, everyone. Albion Chat is supposed to be a place free of persecution. Now the offender has been removed and will bother you no longer.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Where did you come from? I didn't see you enter the chat!

**The_Great_Dragon: **I am the administrator, young king. I am always here.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Why am I a young king?

**The_Great_Dragon: **It is your destiny, young king.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Don't mind him; he's always babbling on about on destiny. It doesn't mean anything.

**The_Great_Dragon: **You know not of what you speak, young warlock.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **:P

**Arthurisreal has entered the room**

**History_of_magic has entered the room**

**Legends_and_legacies has entered the room**

**Arthurisreal: **Anyone wanna discuss Arthurian legend with me?

**Legends_and_legacies: **Count me in.

**History_of_magic: **I'll join, as usual.

**Legends_and_legacies: **We better make a private chat. Last time everyone complained about us monopolizing the chat.

**Legends_and_legacies has left the room**

**History_of_magic has left the room**

**Arthurisreal has left the room**

**Lady_of_the_Lake has entered the room**

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Thank goodness. They were so annoying last time. I thought they'd never stop.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **So, you come here often?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Oh gosh, are you one of those pervs?

**Lady_of_the_Lake has left the room**

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Better watch yourself, mate, she's really sensitive about that kind thing.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **_Now_ you tell me.

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot has entered the room**

**Sisterofevil has entered the room**

**Lustandpower has entered the room**

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot: **Who wants to help me take over Camelot?

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **You do realize Camelot is gone, right?

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot: **Who wants to help me rebuild and then take over Camelot?

**Sisterofevil: **You know I will help you in anything, sister.

**Lustandpower: **Where Morgause goes, I go. Therefore, I will help you both.

**DestinedtoBqueenofcamelot: **Great! Let's have a private chat, and then I can take my rightful place as queen.

**The_Great_Dragon: **You have no part in the destiny of Camelot, witch! Your only destiny is to fail to conquer it!

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot: **Shut up. I will have my way.

**Sisterofevil: **Never fear, sister. Camelot will be ours!

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **You have got to be kidding me.

**Lustandpower: **Nope. We're dead serious.

**Sisterofevil: **Come, let us talk away from unwelcome ears.

**Sisterofevil has left the room**

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot has left the room**

**Lustandpower has left the room**

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor has entered the room**

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Hi.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **You're the pervert who tried to hit on my friend! Ugh!

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **In fairness, he didn't really say anything offensive.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **Whatever.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Wait, I have something to tell you!

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **Fine. Make it quick.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **The warlock has left Camelot.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **Oh! Great! Sorry, we must have misjudged you earlier. You were probably just glad to see us, right?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Exactly.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **Okay, I'll tell her to come back. Do you have anything from Kilgharrah?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Two sides of the same coin

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **Kilgharrah?

**The_Great_Dragon: **The young king has answered correctly.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **I am not a king!

**The_Great_Dragon: **As you wish, sire.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Don't let it get on your nerves. He called me "young warlock" long before I knew I was one.

**The_Great_Dragon: **The young warlock speaks the truth, young king.

**Lady_of_the_Lake has entered the room**

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **You better be right about this, Will.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **I am.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Okay then, what's my name?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Freya.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **And what's the name of the person who needs help?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Merlin Emrys.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **And why does he need help?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **He's stuck on TV.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Which channel?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Five. Well technically, five point five. Are you done quizzing me now?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Yes. Now just to be safe, let's take this to a private chat.

**Lady_of_the_Lake has invited you and two others to a private chat. **

Arthur hit "accept".

**Lady_of_the_Lake has entered the room, Escape From Channel 5**

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor has entered the room**

**Fortheloveofcamelot has entered the room**

**Imthegreatestwarlock has entered the room**

**Lady_of_the_Lake:** First things first. Merlin, how did you get wifi?

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Kilgharrah helped me out. Apparently, wifi forged in a dragon's breath can get through anything.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **You're Merlin? I should have realized. How are you?

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **About as good as anyone trapped on TV in a blank room forever can be.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Don't worry, we'll get you out. That's what we're all here for.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **I've got a friend who might have some ideas also.

**Druid_boy42 has been invited to the room**

**Druid_boy42: **How can I help?


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin thought of the other person who had asked for his help, Mordred.  
**Druid_boy42 has been invited to the room**  
**Druid_boy42:** How can I help?  
**Imthegreatestwarlock: **You said you wanted to help me get out of here. Got any ideas?  
**Druid_boy42:** Well, I've been doing some research with Gaius...  
**Lady_of_the_Lake:** Gaius? What does he know?  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** He has magic, too. And an extensive library. What did you find?  
**Druid_boy42:** I found a way to break the spell, but it will be a little difficult to accomplish.  
**Entertainment_at_Ealdor:** I'm sure we'll find a way.  
**Druid_boy42:** We need to get a million viewers for Merlin's show.  
**Entertainment_at_Ealdor:** And how are we going to do that?!  
**Druid_boy42:** Now you get it.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** I work in the entertainment industry. I might be able to set you up with ads and the like, and I can certainly use word of mouth. But...  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** But what?  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** You need something people might actually watch.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** What, you mean people won't just stare at me for an hour?  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** Not all of us...  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** ...  
**Lady_of_the_Lake:** Come on, boys, there'll be time for flirting later.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** I am NOT flirting!  
**Lady_of_the_Lake:** Sure...  
**Druid_boy42:** Um, guys? Don't we have a more pressing issue?  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** Right. So, I'll get word out to my friends and coworkers, get them to watch the show and try to put some ads in. Will, Freya, you come up with scripts and whatnot for Merlin's show; we need something people will come back to. Mordred, you convince people that the show's worthwhile. And Merlin, you work on entertaining the masses of viewers that will (ideally) come streaming in.  
**Entertainment_at_Ealdor:** Who put you in charge?  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** Well I'm certainly not letting the idiot run things, as he hasn't made any progress so far.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Prat.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** Incompetent git.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Insufferable jerk.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** Useless hairbrain.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Arrogant clotpole.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** That's not even a word!  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Arrogant is too a word!  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** I mean clotpole.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Yes, you're a mean clotpole. And a pompous arse, too.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** Shut up, cabbagehead!  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Now who's making up words?  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** I said, shut up!  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** As you wish, sire.  
**Lady_of_the_Lake:** Are you two quite done yet? No, don't answer that. There'll be time for insults later, as well. In the meantime, we have work to do.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** Work... shit, I'm gonna be late for work!  
**Fortheloveofcamelot has left the room**  
**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Honestly, I'll be amazed if you two manage to get any work done.  
**Lady_of_the_Lake has left the room**  
**Entertainment_at_Ealdor:** Gotta be careful, mate, you don't want to lose the one person who might help you.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** If that's what he's like, I don't want his help!  
**Entertainment_at_Ealdor has left the room**  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Thanks for the help, Mordred.  
**Druid_boy42:** Any time. Good luck dealing with that jerk. You'll need it.  
**Druid_boy42 has left the room**  
**The_Great_Dragon:** You must not be too harsh with the man, young warlock. It is his destiny to help you. A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock: **That doesn't make him any less awful.  
**The_Great_Dragon:** None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none can escape it.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** There must be someone else because this guy's an idiot.  
**The_Great_Dragon:** Perhaps it's your destiny to change that.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Yeah, right. More like you just enjoy being cryptic and babbling about destiny.  
**The_Great_Dragon:** There will come a day, young warlock, when you will understand my teachings. You will not regret the knowledge I have given you.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** If that ever happens, I'll get down on my knees and marry that man.  
**The_Great_Dragon: **I shall hold you to it.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock has left the room**  
**  
**Merlin just knew Kilgharrah would keep his word. What had he gotten himself into?


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur was, indeed, late to work. He ran in, fearing his coworkers' wrath (he slacked off enough as it was), but they acted as if nothing had happened.  
"Are you ready to start filming?" Morgana asked. He wasn't, not really, but he didn't have a choice.  
"Yes."

Of course it had to be the reunion scene. Arthur held Vivian's (or rather, Sophia's - he needed to stay in character) hand up and kissed it. "Milady."  
"My lord." They weren't, of course, not even in the movie, but Sophia and John - that was Arthur's character - believed in chivalry and all that old-fashioned nonsense. Arthur honestly didn't know why he had agreed to do this. He needed to focus. He had a line to deliver.  
"I've missed you so much." He hadn't, really. He couldn't stand Vivian; it was only his superb acting skills that stopped him from looking like he wanted to strangle her. "I thought I'd never see you again." _Wouldn't that be wonderful_, he thought. But he couldn't quit. Father would have his head. "I'll watch over you, I promise. I can't bear to lose you again." Arthur's thoughts drifted further, as he remembered a certain man who was lost. A man who was rather good-looking...

Vivian was staring at him. Oh, shit. This was when he was supposed to be kissing her. He couldn't, not when the thoughts of another person kept drifting into his mind. He looked at Leon, the cameraman, and shook his head.  
"Cut! Let's try that again."  
"No... I can't."  
"Why not?"  
"I'm sorry." Arthur walked out of the room. He was in no state to work today, but it wasn't as if he could actually walk out. Morgana approached him a few minutes later.  
"Arthur, you're the star in this film. They need you there to shoot it."  
"Yeah, sorry."  
"What happened anyway?"  
"I don't want to talk about it." Mercifully, Morgana didn't push him.  
"Do you think you can film another scene?" Arthur nodded, hoping it was true, and they walked back in. "What do you think you can handle?" Morgana asked.  
"How about the soliloquy? After I find she's gone?" Morgana nodded, and they got all set up. Leon nodded to show that the camera was rolling, and Arthur began.

"Sophia... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realize what was happening, and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I didn't know how to help you, and I'm sorry I didn't help you. But I'm not just sorry; I want to help you. I still don't know exactly what's happened or where you've gone, but I swear I will find you. Whatever it takes. I don't care how much it hurts or how hard it is, I will find you. I will search the whole earth if that's what it takes. I will beg my worst enemies if that's what it takes. I will die for you if that's what it takes. I will do anything to get you back. I love you, Sophia, and I can't live without you."

"Cut! That was brilliant, Arthur!" But Arthur wasn't listening. He was running out of the room, tears streaming down his face. He reached the sanctuary of his office and slid down in his chair, unsure of what to do next. A few minutes later, he heard a knock at the door.  
"Arthur?" It was Gwen, his PA. "Can I come in?" Arthur sighed and unlocked the door.

Arthur had finally stopped crying, though his face was still red. "What's wrong, Arthur?"  
"Nothing. I'm fine." Gwen gave a look that clearly said she didn't believe him, but she decided not to pry and instead walked back out with a concerned, sympathetic expression.

A few minutes later, Gwaine walked in. "What seems to be the matter, Princess? Gwen may leave you alone, but I won't." Arthur said nothing. "Come on, I'm not leaving until you answer me. What's up?" Arthur sighed.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." Arthur logged on to his computer and entered the chat room he'd used earlier. "Are you ignoring me?"

"No, I'm answering."

**Fortheloveofcamelot has entered the room, Albion Chat**

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Anyone here?

"'Fortheloveofcamelot'? What kind of a name is that?"

"Shut up, Gwaine."

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **I'm here

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Me too

**Druid_boy42: **What's up?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **I'm talking to a friend and he asked about you.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Really?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Well not directly, but to answer his question I have to mention you.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Who is he?

**Sexiestmanalive has joined the chat**

**Sexiestmanalive: **Hi there.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Oh gosh, that's him. Gwaine, don't harass these people.

**Druid_boy42: **Especially not Freya.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **He's right. Don't mess with me or my friends.

**Sexiestmanalive: **If you insist. So, what's all this? Apparently, you all are the reason my friend here is incapable of work and looks like he's been up all night?

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Only since 3AM.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **And I did get a couple hours of sleep.

**Sexiestmanalive: **Just get to the point. What's going on here?

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **I... well...

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Just tell him.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **I was um...

cursed by an evil witch to be stuck on a TV channel. He... I don't actually know your name!

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Arthur.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **And your last name?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Pendragon.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **You're kidding.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Nope.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Arthur Pendragon. That's insane.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **You're one to talk, Merlin.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Prat.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Idiot.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Dollophead.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Clotpole.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **That's my word!

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **It suits you perfectly.

**Sexiestmanalive: **Um, guys? I'm still here.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Sorry, where was I?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **You were mentioning where Arthur comes in.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Ah yes, the insufferable prat. How could I forget? Anyway, despite his shortcomings, he took pity on me and contacted my friends who managed to put a message on the channel, and now we're all trying to rescue him.

**Sexiestmanalive: **And how will you do that?

**Druid_boy42: **We need a million people to be watching Merlin's show at the same time.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **I don't suppose you'd be able to help?

**Sexiestmanalive: **Well, I do work in advertising...

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Gwaine, you're an actor.

**Sexiestmanalive: **I help out in advertising, too. Honestly, don't you pay any attention to what goes on in this building? Anyway, what time does the programme air?

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **3AM.

**Sexiestmanalive: **That does complicate matters somewhat. Not many people get up at 3AM to watch TV. Except for Arthur, apparently.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **I couldn't sleep!

**Sexiestmanalive: **Yeah, right. What I'm saying is, it's going to be hard to find viewers.

**Druid_boy42: **Not to mention how hard it is to find the channel.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Wait, what?

**Druid_boy42: **Most people have their favorite channels and just punch in the number for that channel. We call it channel 5 for the sake of convenience, but Merlin's channel is technically 5.5, which is impossible to type on the typical remote. To make matters worse, the channel disappears when there's nothing airing. Currently, it shows Merlin's programme from 3:00 to 4:00, then Will and Freya's message from 4:00 to 4:30, and finally Kilgharrah's message from 4:30 to 5:00. At all other times, it ceases to exist, at least as far as the public is concerned.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Any chance you can put other programmes in?

**Sexiestmanalive: **Maybe, but if this channel is as strange as you say it is, it might be rather complicated. What is Merlin's show about?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Freya?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Will and I have been brainstorming. Let me check in with him.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor has entered the room**

**Sexiestmanalive: **You must be Will. I could provide you with some "entertainment" ;)

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **Who let this pervert in?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **I did. Sorry. Gwaine, you promised not to harass these people!

**Sexiestmanalive: **I didn't promise for this guy! Fine, I won't bother him.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Will, Freya, what did you come up with?

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **We were thinking of showcasing Merlin's magical talents.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **I have a feeling I'd get in trouble for that. Magic can be very dangerous, and many believe it is unequivocally evil.

**Sexiestmanalive: **Besides, most people would just think it was good special effects. You'd need a plot to supplement it.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Scratch that. Did we have anything else, Will?

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **No, that was it.

**Druid_boy42: **I've got an idea, but I don't know if it will work.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Now's not the time to be picky. What's your idea?

**Druid_boy42: **I was looking up spells with Gaius, and I might be able to move your programme to a different channel.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Great! What's the catch?

**Druid_boy42: **Your programme will need to have similar subject material to the programmes on the channel I move it to.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **And what do the channels that you might move it to show?

**Druid_boy42: **Only channels 5 and 6 are available. That is, if we pay lots of money.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Money isn't a problem. What's on channel 6?

**Druid_boy42: **News. Not actual news, just gossip and the like. You know, the kind of stuff you find in magazines.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **I'm not doing that. What about channel 5?

**Druid_boy42: **Soap operas.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Kind of hard to do that with one person.

**Druid_boy42: **Let me see if there's anything I can do about that.

**Modern_physician has entered the chat**

**Modern_physician: **I think I may have a solution.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **What is it, Gaius?

**Modern_physician: **I can send more people into your programme. That way, you can produce a more entertaining show.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Soap opera... okay, I can do this. Send Freya in.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **If you send her in, she can't help me write the scripts. And you know how rubbish I am at putting my ideas on paper.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Fine. But then who'll be my romantic interest?

**Sexiestmanalive: **Arthur is a very good actor.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **I don't think I could survive alone with that prat.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **You're running out of insults.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **No I'm not, coxcomb.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Gwaine's right though, I am a good actor.

_And I wouldn't have to act_, Arthur thought, though of course he didn't say that.

**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Fine. But don't we need a supporting cast?

**Sexiestmanalive: **I'll take care of that. Percival and Elyan are free at the moment. George never has anything interesting to do, so he'll jump at the opportunity. Gwen is Arthur's PA, so she may as well join him. Elena and Mithian are just wrapping up a programme, so they'll be available, too, and this is exactly the sort of thing they go for. I think that's enough for now.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Alright.

**Sexiestmanalive: **How are you filming the programme?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Currently, Merlin's programme is just a blank room with a camera facing him. No pans, cuts, or anything like that.

**Druid_boy42: **I might be able to control the camera through magic.

**Sexiestmanalive: **Okay, you can be the cameraman then. Are you familiar with the techniques for taking videos and all that?

**Druid_boy42: **Yeah.

**Sexiestmanalive: **Then it's settled. Mordred, you record the film of Merlin. I'll take some clips of Arthur's and merge them together with video editing to make some ads. After the ads are created, I'll send them out to various companies, channels, etc. We'll advertise for a week, then Mordred will change Merlin's programme to channel 5, and Arthur and company will join Merlin. By then, Will and Freya will have some scripts written (which they can send via this chat room). When the programme isn't airing, the actors and actresses will be rehearsing and memorizing lines. The programme will air, it will become popular, and Merlin and everyone else will become free.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Sounds like a good plan.

**Sexiestmanalive: **Anything I should know about the show? For the purpose of making the ads.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **The show will about two lovers, Merlin and Arthur. Keep the actors' names because then we can call their meeting "destiny". The synopsis will go something like this. "Merlin and Arthur. With those names, it seems as though they are destined for each other. They disagree. After a particularly painful breakup, Merlin is disinclined to trust anyone. It certainly doesn't help that Arthur is a self-righteous prat. Arthur has yet to come out of the closet, as he knows his father wouldn't approve. The appearance of a man he wants but can't have is antagonizing him to no end. It seems the two would be better off ignoring each other entirely. Or would they? With a little help from some over eager matchmakers, Merlin and Arthur come to realize that maybe they should be together after all."

**Sexiestmanalive: **Sounds good.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **I can do that, no problem.

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **We have a deal. Will, Freya, get started on that script.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **Roger that.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor has left the room**

**Lady_of_the_Lake has left the room**

**Sexiestmanalive has left the room**

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Arthur?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Yes, Merlin?

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Thank you.

**Fortheloveofcamelot has left the room**

"Come on, now," Gwaine said. "You've got to film as much as you can before you leave." Arthur nodded, smiling. He was ready. Anything to get him to Merlin.


	11. Chapter 11

After a long, hard week of work, Arthur asked for a week of leave. Uther was incredibly reluctant, but ultimately he relented. Arthur didn't dare ask for permission to be in Merlin's show, though. He knew that would be pushing it.

**You have a new IM**

**From: Modern_physician**

**To: Fortheloveofcamelot**

**Subject: Channel 5**

**Content: Are you ready?**

**From: Fortheloveofcamelot **

**To: Modern_physician**

**Subject: Re: Channel 5**

**Content: Beam me up, scottie!**

A few seconds later, Arthur ended up in the blank room - and on top of Merlin. For one long, awkward moment they lay on top of each other, until Arthur got up. "Erm, sorry about that."

"No, it's fine. It's not your fault. I'll yell at Gaius later." Arthur looked around at the white walls.

"So this is where you've been the whole time?"

"Yeah. I've only just been moved to channel 5, but it's the same for me. Same blank room and all that."

"How do you not die of boredom?"

"Magic," Merlin replied, and Arthur laughed - until he realized that Merlin was actually being serious.

"Show me."

"You already saw it on the telly."

"It's not the same as in person. Show me."

"Are you sure? Most people are a little - startled." Arthur just fixed his gaze on Merlin. "Fine," he relented. Merlin muttered some unintelligible words, his eyes flashed gold, and the walls turned the same color. Merlin made a few candles float in the air, lit with blue-green flame. "How about that?"

"Not bad. Got anything else?"

Merlin smiled, and a slow ballad began to play. The lights changed to match that of a ballroom or dance hall. Merlin pulled Arthur in, and they began to dance. At the end, the music faded, and a calm silence spread over them.

"So, you can dance," Arthur said, when he got up the courage to speak.

"So can you."

"Got anything else?"

"Are you always so hard to please?" Arthur laughed. With a cheeky smile, Merlin said a few words in a language Arthur didn't understand, and mistletoe began growing right above their heads. Arthur looked up and blushed.

"But... but... it's not even Christmas!"

"Come on, Arthur. We're about to star in a romantic comedy. We're bound to kiss at some point, and there's no better time to practice."

"I've kissed plenty of people! I don't need practice."

"I think you'll find that kissing me is entirely different."

It was, of course. It was like nothing Arthur had ever felt before. It was as if... no, surely not... but he knew it was. He was in love. And if the mistletoe was any indication, Merlin loved him back. That thought, combined with the feeling of Merlin's lips pressing against his, filled Arthur with a warmth that left him feeling better than he had in a long time. It was a warmth that he knew would last.

"Come on, now," Merlin said, pulling away after what felt like an eternity. "We wouldn't want everyone else to come in and see us like this, would we?" Arthur just smiled.

**Imthegreatestwarlock has entered the room, Albion Chat**

**Lady_of_the_Lake has entered the room**

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Is he there?

**Imthegreatestwarlock: **Yeah, he just made it.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Gaius says the others will be coming soon.

**Lady_of_the_Lake has sent a file: Episode 1 Script**

Merlin clicked on the file and showed it to Arthur. "You ready?"

"You bet."


	12. Chapter 12

They had rehearsed their parts many times and Merlin had cast a spell to ensure they remembered all their lines. It was time to go. Arthur and Merlin took a deep breath.

People walked by on a crowded street. The camera cut to a businessman carrying a briefcase and wearing an expensive suit, a determined, self-important look on his face. He looked at his wristwatch and changed from walking briskly to running, somehow continuing to look stately and dignified as he did so. Of course, he wasn't paying attention to whet he was going. He ran headlong into a man carrying a cup of coffee. The scalding coffee spilled all over the businessman and his briefcase. The businessman jumped back.

"You idiot!" he shouted. "Why weren't you looking where you were going?"

"I could ask the same of you."

"You'll pay for that!"

"Pay for your inconvenience, yes. Pay for my response, no."

"I'll have you know, I've been trained to sue since birth."

"Oh really? And how long have you been training to be a prat?"

"You can't address me like that."

"I'm sorry." The man bowed his head in mock apology. "How long have you been training to be a prat, _Sir_?" he said, emphasizing the word "Sir" to make it sound like an insult. "Listen, mate, I'm really sorry about the coffee..."

"Do I know you?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Do I know you?" the man asked again, sounding even more irritated.

"No..."

"Yet you called me 'mate'."

"My mistake."

"It certainly was."

"I would never have a friend who could be such an ass."

"Nor I one who could be so stupid."

"I'm really sorry, though. I can pay for the dry cleaning, buy you a new briefcase, whatever you need..."

"No, you'd only mess it up more, you incompetent git."

"I may be many things, but incompetent is not one of them."

"I could take you apart with one blow."

"I could take you apart with less than that."

"I. Don't. Care. I have much more important things to do than converse with lower class imbeciles who can't even carry a cup of coffee without spilling it all over someone!"

"Oh, so you think because I'm poor, I'm stupid?" the man yelled, his temper rising.

"I don't have time for your nonsense. You are a waste of space! You're completely useless! Worse, you ruin the lives of everyone around you! You..." the businessman halted his tirade to look at the other man. "Are you... crying?"

"It has nothing to do with you; don't flatter yourself. I've had enough arrogant bullshit for one day. Enough for a lifetime! Leave me alone!"

"Oh, you're telling me to leave? What makes you think you're in charge?"

"Oh I don't know, how about the fact that I get to decide who I don't want to be with? I'm done!"

"I hope to never have the pleasure of seeing you again," the businessman said bitterly, turning on his heels. The two men stalked away in angry silence.

The door of an apartment slammed open and the man who had spilt the coffee walked in.

"What is it, Merlin?" asked a woman in the room.

"Nothing."

"Come on, I know you better than that."

"I don't want to talk about it." Merlin crossed his arms and sat on the couch, facing away from her.

"Is it about Cenred?"

"Sort of," Merlin replied, lowering his eyes to the floor.

"Tell me all about it." She sat down next to him.  
"Oh, I don't know where to start, Gwen. I..." he sighed. "I ran into this guy..." Gwen raised her eyebrows. "Not like that! I literally ran into him. Spilled my coffee on him and everything. And he was such a prat about it! It... it reminded me of Cenred."  
"He can't have been that bad!"  
"No, he wasn't. But he was bad enough. I just couldn't take it. The painful memories keep coming back. I've had a miserable day." Gwen nodded sympathetically.  
"So, how about we drown out the memories with ice cream and chick flicks?"  
"Gwen!" Merlin then launched into a lengthy argument about how chick flicks were sexist and why does the girl 'get' the guy (or vice versa) anyways, why can't they get each other, and why do girls have to be called 'chicks', it's so degrading.  
"I was kidding, Merlin; I know how much you hate them."  
"You're really not making my day any better."  
"Sorry." She laid a hand on his shoulder. She thought for a moment. "You know what you need?"  
"I'm afraid to ask."  
"You need a night out."  
"What?"  
"You heard me. You need a night out. You haven't had any fun since you broke up with Cenred. He ruined your life enough when you were with him. You can't let him keep ruining it now that he's gone." Merlin sighed.  
"I suppose you're right. What did you have in mind?"  
"How about Avalon?"  
"The gay bar?"  
"Why not?"  
"You're only saying that because you want to see me get drunk. You know how much of a lightweight I am."  
"I still think you'd like it."  
"Oh, fine."

The businessman angrily stalked into his flat.  
"What's wrong, Princess?" his flatmate asked.  
"Nothing, Gwaine. And don't call me Princess!"  
"I'll stop calling you Princess if you tell me what's wrong."  
"There is nothing wrong."  
"Come off it, Princess; I can smell the sexual frustration from miles away."  
"That's only because you'll have sex with anything that moves."  
"Who says it has to move? And yes, it does make me more adept at noticing these things. But you still haven't told me, what is it?" The businessman sighed.  
"I met a guy..."  
"Oh?" Gwaine's eyes lit up in vicarious attraction. "What's he like?"  
"Really hot. He's got messy jet black hair, an amazing... well actually I didn't see him smile, so I don't know, but I assume he has a nice smile. He's lean, but not too skinny. His lips are gorgeous..."  
"Does he have a nice arse?"  
"Gwaine!" the businessman blushed. "Yes, he does have a nice arse."  
"Well then, go for it!"  
"That's just the thing. He hates me."  
"Oh, Arthur."  
"Why do I always have to fall in love with the wrong people?"  
"Maybe you don't."  
"What are you saying, Gwaine?"  
"What you need, mate, is a good shag. That'll release some of your frustration. And who knows, maybe you'll find someone else to fall in love with!"  
"Father would have my head."  
"He doesn't have to know."  
"And besides, where would I go to find someone? All the guys I know are straight."  
"You forgot me!" Gwaine protested.  
"Right, sorry, but I'm not dating you. You're my obnoxious friend, nothing more."  
"Fine."  
"So, where would I go?"  
"Have you ever been to a gay bar?"  
"What? No!"  
"I'm telling you, it's the best place to pick up a guy. And I know a real nice one 'round here."  
"But... but..."  
"Come on, Arthur. We're going to Avalon."

Gwen was driving Merlin to the bar. "So other than the annoying guy, how was your day?"  
"He kind of ruined my entire day. Other than that, fine!" Merlin said with a false smile on his face.  
"What did he do?"  
"Oh, not much, just said that I was stupid and stuff like that. I hadn't been having a great day to begin with, so that was enough to tip me over the edge."  
"Ah."  
"Oh, and he said he'd been trained to sue since birth. Like, seriously?"  
"Funny, that sounds like something Arthur would say. Wait a minute - this man, what did he look like?"  
"Blonde, blue eyes, muscular... stereotypical jerk. He was carrying a briefcase that said 'Pendragon Attorneys'..."  
"That's got to be Arthur."  
"You dated that jerk?"  
"He's actually not that bad once you get to know him. He just has a hot temper."  
"Is that why you broke up with him?"  
"No, no, I broke up with him because I found Lance, and Arthur broke up with me because he found out he was gay. We were both like 'I have something to tell you', and then we laughed for a few minutes at the convenience of it and parted, no hard feelings."  
"But wait, if he's gay, does that mean..."  
"No, he doesn't drink."  
"Thank goodness for that."

They pulled up to the bar and walked in. Merlin sat down next to Gwen and began to drown his sorrows. A few minutes later, Arthur walked in. Neither of them saw each other, and Arthur got on the dance floor. After changing partners several times, Arthur began dancing with a man who looked a bit like Merlin.  
"Hello," the man said.  
"Hi."  
"You here for the dancing, or are you actually gay?"  
"I'm actually gay. It's funny, my friend dragged me in here because he said I needed to pick up a guy."  
"Oh?" The man raised his eyebrows.  
"Yeah. I'm Arthur, by the way."  
"Mordred."  
"Hm."  
"What?"  
"In the legends, Mordred was Arthur's bane. Mordred kills him, in the end."  
"Well, I certainly hope that doesn't happen."  
"Agreed. You're too handsome to be a murderer." Arthur's face fell.  
"What?"  
"Nothing, it's just... my friend brought me here because I fell in love with someone I can't have."  
"Oh? Why not? Is he straight?"  
"No... well, I don't know; I didn't get to asking about his sexuality. The problem is, he hates me."  
"I'm sure a charmer like you is skilled at persuasion."  
"Maybe, but I doubt I'd see him again. It was just a chance meeting."  
"Well, if it's meant to be, I'm sure you'll find him again." Arthur shook his head.  
"I don't believe in destiny. I'll never..." Arthur stopped mid-sentence.  
"What?"  
"That's him." Arthur gestured to Merlin. Merlin turned around, saw him, and instantly blanched.

Merlin turned back to Gwen. "Gwen, we need to get out of here."  
"Why? What's wrong? Are you in danger?" Gwen asked, worried.  
"No. It's him."  
"Cenred?"  
"No. Arthur." Merlin turned to Gwen suspiciously. "I thought you said he doesn't drink."  
"He doesn't!" Gwen replied, as surprised as Merlin.

"Go for it!" Mordred encouraged Arthur.  
"What if he rejects me?"  
"I'll be right here waiting for you. Or if you prefer, you could go to the friend who got you into this in the first place. I assume he came with you." Arthur nodded. "Now go!"

Arthur walked over to Merlin, who became increasingly worried.  
"If this is about the coffee, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to..."  
"It's not about the coffee." Merlin looked confused. "We got off to a rough start earlier today. Let's try again. I'm Arthur." Arthur extended his hand and Merlin shook it reluctantly, looking even more confused.  
"I'm Merlin."  
"You're kidding me!"  
"I know Merlin isn't the most common name, but my mum really likes the birds, and..."  
"Merlin. Arthur and Merlin."  
"It's like destiny," Gwen said, turning around.  
"Oh, Gwen. I uh... didn't see you there."  
"It's alright Arthur. This is Merlin, my flatmate. We're very close friends, so if you do anything to hurt him, I will rip you to shreds."  
"I would never..."  
"That's what they all say. Not all guys are kind to the people they date."  
"Date? What? I'm not..."  
"Sure..." Gwen said sarcastically. "I'll just leave you two then," Gwen said, walking away.  
"Wait!" Merlin called, but Gwen had already gone. "Now listen," Merlin said, turning to Arthur. "I know you talked about starting over, but I can't forget the way you treated me. And don't try to say the coffee I spilled on you makes it even."  
"I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up?"  
"You can stay away from me."  
"Oh." Arthur walked away, heartbroken.

"So it didn't work out?" Mordred asked. Arthur shook his head sadly.  
"Listen, you're really nice and all, and I would totally go for you if I wasn't in love with Merlin, but as it is, I can't stay here."  
"I understand. Good luck!"

Arthur walked over to Gwaine. "I found Merlin. He said no. I can't think about anyone else. Let's go home."  
"Come on, Arthur! You haven't even had any fun yet! We need to get you drunk."  
"I told you, Gwaine, I don't drink."  
"Well at least dance or something. Hey wait, they're about to announce an activity!" It was blindfolded kissing.  
"No way I am doing that."  
"Oh come on, you know you love kissing guys."  
"Yes, but not now. Not strangers."  
"I'll come with you, so you won't be the only one."  
"No."  
"If you're the first one to kiss a guy when the music stops, you get twenty pounds!" Gwaine reminded Arthur of the rules.  
"Oh, fine. But if I don't win, you owe me ten."

They got on to the dance floor, and the music began to play. Arthur danced with random couples until the music stopped, and then he grabbed the nearest man and kissed him. The man recoiled at first, then reciprocated. The blindfolds were removed, and Arthur saw Merlin. They both stared in shock for a moment, then Merlin frowned and Arthur blushed. Not knowing what else to do, Arthur ran away. Merlin walked over to Gwen. "What the fuck just happened?"


	13. Chapter 13

The cast of the new show joined together to discuss the results.

"I think that went pretty well," Gwen commented. Everyone agreed to that.

"Nice kissing!" Gwaine said, wolf-whistling at Merlin and Arthur. Merlin blushed, but Arthur just beamed.

"I thought you were doing advertising?" Merlin asked, confused as to why Gwaine had been acting.

"I convinced Morgana to take it over. And I mean, we already made most of the adverts anyway."

"And Mordred?"

"I set up a timer on the camera with a combination of technology and magic. That way, I don't have to actively deal with it," Mordred replied. "And of course, if something messes up the timing, I can still control the camera remotely."

"So, what's next?" Arthur asked.

**Fortheloveofcamelot has entered the room, Albion Chat**

**Lady_of_the_Lake has entered the room**

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor has entered the room**

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot has entered the room**

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Now what?

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot: **First of all, statistics. You've got viewers, but only a couple hundred. You've got a long way to go before you reach your goal.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Who are you?

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot: **Morgana? Your boss? Ring any bells?

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **Oh. Okay. I just wasn't expecting that username, is all.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Ratings and reviews are mostly positive, but there aren't many. The main complaint is that there was too much bickering and not enough romance.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **I told you we should have had them make out, Freya!

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Shut up, Will. Anyway, you guys have a week until your next episode. Will and I hope to have a script completed soon. In the meantime, do whatever you want. It must be rather boring there, I'd think.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **It's not too bad.

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **You're just saying that because you get to kiss Merlin.

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **That does help :)

**Entertainment_at_Ealdor: **I told you, Freya!

**Fortheloveofcamelot: **The gang says hi, by the way. We're all here; I'm just the one who logged into the chat. Alright now, we better leave you to your scriptwriting.

**Fortheloveofcamelot has left the room**

***  
The time had finally come for another episode.

Merlin sat in the living room of his apartment with Gwen.  
"I'm just saying you should give him another chance," she said.  
"Are you mad?"  
"No."  
"And besides, if he's so great, why aren't you still dating him?"  
"Because he's gay, remember?" Merlin sighed. "Come _on_!"  
"No."  
"He's exactly your type."  
"Yeah, complete asshole, that's my type alright," Merlin said ruefully.  
"He's not half that bad."  
"You're right, he's twice that bad."  
"Merlin! He may be my ex but I will not have you speak about him like that!"  
"What are you gonna do, call him?"  
"Maybe I will."  
"You know I'm never getting together with him."  
"You sure about that?"  
"I'm sure," Merlin said, his voice becoming strained.  
"I'm just saying he's your type. And I know you're his type - smart, cute, not afraid to speak your mind."  
"And I spoke my mind when I told him to get lost."  
"You can't deceive yourself forever, Merlin." Merlin sighed and went into his room.

Gwen was on the phone with Lancelot. "So I heard Merlin found someone last night?"  
"Maybe, but he doesn't think so. You remember Arthur?"  
"Your ex?"  
"That's the one."  
"What about him?"  
"They met yesterday and I think they're perfect for each other. Merlin doesn't think so, though. He hates him."  
"Ouch. And what about Arthur? How does he feel?"  
"I'm not sure; I haven't talked to him since then. I think he likes Merlin, but I'm not sure."  
"God help poor Merlin if Arthur does love him."  
"Lancelot!"  
"Come on, we both know how prattish and eccentric Arthur is. He only gets worse when he's in love."  
"It's true; he never was good at showing affection."  
"Probably because his father taught him to smother his feelings."  
"Uther is certainly smothered. Stifling, too." Lancelot laughed.  
"Don't tell him that to his face."  
"I may be bold, but I'm not stupid. Anyway, back to Arthur and Merlin. We need to get them together."  
"Agreed. This calls for a meeting of the Round Table."

Gwen, Elyan, Lancelot, Percival, and Gwaine sat gathered at a table in Camelot Coffeeshop.  
"You know, it's not actually a round table," Elyan pointed out.  
"Well we couldn't very well call it the Square Table, could we?" Gwaine countered. "And besides, that's not why we call it the Round Table. It's because we're all named after people in Arthurian legend."  
"Speaking of which," Percival asked, "where is Arthur? He's usually the one leading these meetings."  
"This meeting concerns Arthur, so I thought it best not to invite him," Lancelot answered. "I called this meeting because of Arthur and Merlin."  
"Is Merlin the guy Arthur danced with, or the one he kissed?" Gwaine asked.  
"The one he kissed," Gwen said. "Wait, Arthur kissed Merlin?"  
"Yeah, didn't you see it? You were there. I mean, you were in the bar."  
"So Arthur kissed a guy. I don't see how this is any of our business," Elyan said impatiently.  
"Arthur kissed Merlin accidentally, and when he realized, he ran away."  
"Arthur? Running away? I've never known him to be a coward," Percival commented.  
"And that's not the worst bit," Gwen said. "Merlin hates him."  
"Merlin's not interested, Arthur should go away, that's the end." Elyan started to get up, but Gwaine pulled him back down.  
"But that's just the thing," Gwen continued. "I don't think Merlin actually hates Arthur. And I think Arthur's smitten with him. You know how clingy he can get." They all laughed at that.  
"Fine," Elyan relented. "What's the game plan?"  
"That's what I called this meeting for," Lancelot said. "Any ideas?"  
"We could make them go out with each other," Percival suggested.  
"And how would we do that?" Gwen asked. "There's no way Merlin will agree to go out with Arthur, and I doubt Arthur would agree to go out with Merlin, even if he is in love."  
"Then we set them up," Gwaine said slyly. "I tell Arthur I'm going to meet him here, and Gwen tells Merlin she's going to meet him here, but then neither of us show up, so they're stuck with each other."  
"I should have known you would resort to sneaky tactics," Gwen said with a smile. "But desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm in."  
"Okay, it's time for a vote," Lancelot announced. "All in favor?" They all said 'aye'. "Well that settles it then. Gwen, Gwaine, when it's over, tell us all how it went."  
"Will do," Gwaine said. Then they left.

Merlin sat at a table of two, sipping a latte. "You're late," he said not looking up.  
"Whatever," Arthur replied. Admittedly not his best comeback. Merlin finally looked up, then nearly jumped back in shock.  
"Arthur? What are you doing here?"  
"I'm supposed to meet Gwaine. And what about you, _Mer_lin?"  
"I'm supposed to meet Gwen. Wait a minute... they set us up, didn't it."  
"It certainly looks that way." Arthur took a sip of his coffee.  
"What kind of coffee is that?"  
"Black."  
"Like your soul."  
"At least I have one." Merlin got up to leave, but Arthur stopped him. "Don't leave me! Um... I mean... we may as well stay until we finish our coffee." Merlin thought for a moment.  
"I suppose I can endure your company for that long." Arthur smiled.  
"That's an improvement."  
"Don't get any ideas."  
"Hey, it's not like I asked to meet up with you."  
"But you like it."  
"I suppose you're right."  
"Aha, so the egotistical jerk can admit someone else is right!"  
"Only for you, Merlin." Merlin frowned at the obvious flirtation, clearly uncomfortable.  
"Don't. Not now."  
"Sorry," Arthur said, the smile dropping off his face.  
"It's not your fault, it's just... never mind. What happened last night?" Arthur blushed like a tomato.  
"Um, well, you know the game... and you happened to be nearby..."  
"No, not that. Before that. You being nice to me and all. What changed?"  
"I felt sorry for how I treated you and I um... wanted to change your opinion of me, I guess."  
"I was just some random guy you met on the street. Why would you care what I thought of you?"  
"Oh, well... um..."  
"Are you always this speechless?"  
"Not really... I mean sometimes... um... yeah. My brain seems to have left me. But, uh, going back to your question, it wasn't so much that I wanted to change what you thought of me as that I wanted to make up for how mean I was to you. Or something like that."  
"Or maybe you're one of those people who acts all confident on the outside, but is actually desperate for the validation of others." Arthur bristled, then relaxed and laughed.  
"Yeah, maybe." They sat in silence for a minute. "So, tell me about yourself." Merlin scowled.  
"That better not have been a pickup line."  
"It doesn't have to be if you don't want it to. But the fact remains that I bared my soul-" Merlin sniggered at that "-to you, and I don't know anything about you."  
"Merlin. 22. Studying art at the University of the Arts London."  
"Arthur. 24. Heir to Pendragon Attorneys. Studying law at King's College."

"Are you studying it because you want to, or because you feel like you have to?"  
"I've spent my whole life trying to live up to my father's expectations, so it's hard to say. I'm not too fond of law, though. What about your father? Is he supportive of your career choices?" Merlin said nothing, but tears began to form in his eyes. He changed the subject.

"What happened last night? And now I do mean the kiss. Well, specifically, what happened after it. I mean, you give me a kiss that seems to have a lot of desire-"  
"Hey, you kissed me back!"  
"Only because I was to polite to recoil in disgust." Arthur rolled his eyes. "And because I didn't know who you were. But back to what I was saying. You kiss me, and then you blush. And before I can say anything, you run away! What was all that about?" Arthur thought for a moment, deliberating on something, then took a deep breath and spoke.  
"I've... never been with a guy before. It took me a while to realize that I was never actually attracted to any of the girls I'd dated, and I thought maybe I was asexual or something, but then I started noticing guys and that's when I realized I was gay. Since then, I haven't gotten a boyfriend or anything yet. I hadn't even kissed a guy... until yesterday. And the truth is, I'd very much like to kiss you again."  
"Then why don't you?"  
"I thought you hated me."  
"I'm willing to reconsider," Merlin replied with a smile. "But you didn't answer my question. Why..." But Merlin's sentence was cut off as Arthur's lips met his.  
"Satisfied?"  
"I don't know, maybe I need a little something... more," Merlin replied.  
"I never would have pegged you to be such a hussy."  
"So? My place or yours?" Arthur's face fell. "I was joking, I don't actually want to go that fast." Arthur said nothing. "What is it? What's wrong?"  
"Oh, it's nothing. I'm surprised you warmed up to me so fast."  
"Maybe it's because you're as hot as your coffee." Arthur laughed.  
"Guess I better drink it before it gets cold then."  
"But you still didn't answer my question."  
"I told you, it's nothing."  
"You really expect me to believe that?" Arthur said nothing. "I hope you realize I'm not letting you leave until you answer me."  
"What is this, an interrogation?"  
"Yes. Now then, tell me what's up, or I'll steal your coffee." Arthur still remained silent, so Merlin reached for the coffee. Arthur had quick reflexes and blocked Merlin easily.  
"Not so fast."  
"Oh, you can't handle speed?" Merlin smirked. They fought over the cup of coffee, until Arthur accidentally spilled it over Merlin. "I guess that makes us even," Merlin said with a smile.  
"So does that mean I don't have to answer your question?" Merlin shook his head.  
"I have other ways of making you stay." Merlin walked over to Arthur and sat on his lap. Arthur slipped his arm around Merlin, and the two made themselves comfortable. "So, tell me about it." Arthur sighed.  
"You're really not going to give up, are you?"  
"Never."  
"Alright, then." Arthur took a deep breath. "It's my father, Uther. He's vocal about condemning a lot of things, and homosexuality is one of them. When I told him I was gay, he had a fit. When he finally calmed down, he assured me that it was 'just a phase' and I would be a 'good, respectable boy' who would make sure to marry a wealthy girl and 'continue the Pendragon line'. Ugh. I haven't had a boyfriend yet because I'm afraid of what he would do if he found out." Merlin gave a sympathetic, rueful smile. "But what about you? What's your father like?"  
"I never really knew. He left when I was young, and I haven't seen him since. I don't even know if he's still alive."  
"Oh."  
"Yeah."

They had finished their coffee, so they had no more excuses to talk, but neither of them left. Instead, they sat in a gentle, sad but comfortable silence. It was Merlin who spoke first.  
"Why?"  
"Why what?"  
"Why let him ruin your life?"  
"He's my father."  
"That doesn't make him your dictator. Listen, a while ago somebody... messed up my life, took advantage of me, made me miserable. And thankfully, he's gone. But for the longest time, his influence stayed over me. I kept feeling awful because of him, even though he was gone. And then, I decided that I couldn't let him be in charge of my life. I just... stopped. And it wasn't easy. It still isn't. And of course, it's not like I've forgotten. But I have got closer to moving on. And when I went to Avalon, for that brief time when I wasn't dealing with a certain prat-"  
"Hey!"  
"I had fun. For the first time since I left him, I had fun."  
"And I ruined it." Merlin shook his head.  
"No. At least, not anymore. I don't hate you quite so much anymore," Merlin said with a smirk. "But anyway, all I'm trying to say is, don't let your dad be in charge of your life. Don't be miserable just to please him. He's not worth that. Nobody is worth that. If somebody makes you miserable, you leave. If you want... me, don't let him stop you. Just go for it, and if he doesn't like it, you can always leave."  
"Where would I go?"  
"With me, silly. We could elope."  
"Wow, you really do move fast. I haven't even proposed yet!"  
"Who says you'd be first?"  
"Fair point. But anyway, are you sure? You really think this is a good idea?"

Merlin kissed Arthur, ruffling his hair. "That means yes, you prat."

Merlin and Arthur walked hand-in-hand to Merlin's flat.  
"Now then, a good man would thank the people who brought him and his boyfriend together."  
"Ah, but you forget," Merlin said with the mischievous smirk that Arthur was quickly becoming familiar with. "I'm not a good man." Arthur smiled, too.  
"So, what revenge are we planning for those who set us up?"  
"Know how to turn a bedroom upside down?" Arthur laughed.  
"How will we do that with Gwen here?"  
"We actually have one big bedroom with two beds. I don't know why. I think it was cheaper that way or something. Anyway, all we have to do is go into the bedroom together and Gwen will stay out." Arthur smirked.  
"You devious genius, you!" Merlin smiled. "Any special acting we need to do to make this plan work?"  
"Nope, just be yourself," Merlin replied. "Actually, on second thought..."  
"Hey!"  
"Just kidding! Two days and we're already squabbling like an old married couple." Arthur laughed. "But you should make sure to show how completely smitten you are with me," Merlin said, smiling.  
He was still smiling when Gwen opened the door.  
"Merlin! And Arthur! How nice to see you!" Arthur leaned forward and kissed Merlin.  
"So, Arthur, would you like to come in?" Merlin asked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Arthur smiled and walked in, still holding Merlin's hand.  
"I take it your date was successful?" Gwen asked. They both nodded.  
"We'll be going to the bedroom, so you might want to avoid going in," Merlin warned Gwen.  
"Very successful. Not taking it slow this time, are you?" She watched with gleeful curiosity as they walked to the bedroom, but left them alone.

"What did she mean 'not taking it slow _this_ time'?"  
"In all my other relationships, I've waited until the 5th date at least to have sex, and I'm never the one to suggest it. Usually, I wait until the girl's begging me. Like I said, I didn't realize that I wasn't attracted to girls until recently." Merlin shrugged. "So, how are we gonna do this?"  
"Well, I've got a lot of superglue. And you're tall, so you can help me put stuff up. But first," Merlin took a few pictures of the room. "Okay. Now we know what it looks like. Our goal is to match this layout and put it on the ceiling."  
"Let's do it!"  
"Well, that's what Gwen thinks we're doing," Merlin whispered in reply. They chuckled.

Gwen heard loud banging sounds. And grunting. A lot of grunting. And of course the typical moaning of each other's names. Merlin and Arthur were certainly being loud. And of course, they made sure she heard all the right things out of context.

"It's so big!" Arthur said, pointing to Gwen's bed.  
"You like it?"  
"I love it!" They continued to make noise, but Gwen couldn't make out any words.  
"I need you," Gwen heard, "to help me put this up," Merlin finished quietly. They continued to work on moving all the objects.  
"It's so hard!" Arthur shouted, pointing to the wooden desk that was heavier than it looked.  
"I'm gonna come," Merlin shouted "help you," he said in a hushed tone. They sniggered at their deception.

Gwen decided she had heard enough.  
_Hey are you free right now? - Gwen_  
_Of course, sweetheart. - Lancelot_  
_Wanna go on a date with me? - Gwen_  
_Yeah sure, what's the sudden occasion? - Lancelot_  
_Merlin and Arthur are having sex in Merlin's room. - Gwen_  
_No way! Already? - Lancelot_  
_Yep. And they're being super loud, too. lol - Gwen_  
_Don't worry, I'll rescue you. - Lancelot_  
_Meet you at the pizza place you like so much? - Gwen_  
_Be there in 10. - Lancelot_  
_  
_"The coast is clear!" Merlin called.  
"Good, I was getting tired of calling your name."  
"At least we didn't have to make any noises. That was all built in." Merlin grunted as he attempted to pick up Gwen's bookshelf.  
"True," Arthur said, taking it from him. "So, are we going to do this for Gwaine, too?"  
"I'd love to, but I think this will only work once. It's not like Gwen will keep quiet. We'll have to think of something else." They continued to move furniture. The finishing touch was to transfer Gwen's flowers from a vase to a basket and hang them from the ceiling. They took a moment to survey the results of their devious labor.  
"How does it look?"  
"Perfect. Gwen is gonna flip." Arthur laughed, and then Merlin realized his joke. "Pun unintended, but still rather good."  
"So, what now?"  
"Let's go to Gwaine's. See if we can figure something out."

When they arrived at Arthur and Gwaine's shared flat, Gwaine wasn't home.

"Of course," Arthur said. "How could I forget? Gwaine always goes out with friends in the evening. He won't be back until 10 at the earliest."

"What time is it now?"

"6. Hey, did we ever eat lunch?" Merlin's stomach growled. "I'll take that as a no." Arthur looked at Merlin. "God, you're so skinny, Merlin!"

"What, are you going to fatten me up?"

"Of course, my love," Arthur said with a smile. They proceeded to raid the kitchen, eating all the delicious food specifically marked 'FOR GWAINE ONLY. KEEP OUT! ESPECIALLY YOU, ARTHUR!'

"Have you stolen his food before?"

"Maybe," Arthur said with a guilty smile on his face. They helped themselves to every last piece of Gwaine's food.

"I can see why Gwaine keeps this to himself; it's delicious!"

After they had finished eating, Merlin spoke again. "So, I'm guessing that wasn't the extent of our revenge?"

"No. I've got an excellent plan." Arthur smiled mischievously, copying the expression he had seen on Merlin's face.

"I'm a bad influence, aren't I?"

"Yes, but you're _my_ bad influence."

"That was the soppiest thing I've ever heard!"

"Don't worry, I'll soon top it." Merlin punched Arthur lightly, and Arthur punched him back. Merlin rolled his eyes and then kissed Arthur. "So you like the soppiness, then." Merlin sighed.

"You got me. But this can wait until later. What's the plan?"

"The important thing to remember about Gwaine is that he loves his beauty products," Arthur said as they stood in Arthur and Gwaine's shared bathroom. "Our goal is to take advantage of that by sabotaging each product."

"Do you have all the necessary stuff?"

"No, we'll have to go to the store once we figure out what we need." Arthur looked around. "Okay, let's start with this," he said, picking up a shampoo bottle. "Hair removal gel?"  
"No, too cruel. How about hair dye? What kind would he hate the most?"  
"I think Gwaine would be mortified to find himself with grey hair."  
"Temporary or permanent?"  
"I think temporary will do just fine. And actually, we should do the conditioner, not the shampoo - he'll keep it on longer."  
"Next - lip gloss."  
"Gwaine uses lip gloss? Switch it out for the contents of a glue stick. Well I mean, as long as it isn't toxic."  
"He'll be fine. Hair gel?"  
"Maple syrup."  
"Cologne?"  
"Rotten egg or something equally foul smelling."  
"Facial cleanser?"  
"I don't know."  
"Pumpkin juice."  
"What?"  
"Pumpkin juice. He hates pumpkins, so he won't want to rub pumpkin juice all over his face."  
"Well then, I think we're all set." They went to the store and then came back, changing everything as they had planned.

"I believe this is where we part ways," Arthur said.  
"I think so. Thank you for helping with revenge. Revenge is sweet."  
"So is your kiss," Arthur replied. Merlin laughed and kissed Arthur.  
"Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow."  
"Shakespeare, Merlin, really?"  
"You like it," Merlin said flirtatiously.

"Speak low if you speak love."

"My heart is ever at your service."

"I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest."

"So far be distant; and good night, sweet friend: thy love ne'er alter, till they sweet life end."

"For where thou art, there is the world itself, And where thou art not, desolation."

"We are time's subjects, and time bids be gone."

"All days are nights to see till I see thee,  
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me."  
"Let's kiss and part, for we have much to do." Arthur sighed, and then they did indeed kiss and part.

"Would you like to explain what happened to my room?" Gwen asked in frustration.

"That's what you get for setting me up!"

"How did you... never mind. It doesn't matter. The point is, you are getting this back to normal right now."

"No."

"Then you're sleeping on the floor." Merlin rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone.

_Gwen wants me to change everything back or she'll sleep in my bed and make me sleep on the floor. - Merlin_

_Sorry, guess we should have thought that one through. - Arthur_

_It was worth it for the look on her face, though. - Merlin_

_Lol. Gwen is so funny when she's angry. - Arthur_

_Ikr? I forgot you dated her, so you know her pretty well. - Merlin_

_I've got all sorts of secrets about her I can use as blackmail. - Arthur_

_You villain! Haha. So can I crash at your place? - Merlin_

_Yeah sure - Arthur_

_Great! - Merlin_

_We don't have an extra bed though. You can sleep on the couch or the floor. Or if you really want to, my bed. I'll take the couch for you :) - Arthur_

_Or if you really want, we can share a bed ;) - Arthur_

_Who's going fast now? Lol. We can work out sleeping arrangements when I get there. - Merlin_

_Great! See you soon! - Arthur_

_Btw, does Gwaine know what we've done? - Merlin_

_Not yet. And he doesn't suspect a thing. - Arthur_

_*evil grin* - Merlin_

Merlin knocked on the door, and Gwaine opened it. "Merlin‽"

"Yeah, I'm looking for Arthur." Gwaine smiled and cocked an eyebrow at that.

"Well in that case, I'd be glad to help you. Come right in." Merlin did, and he saw Arthur sitting on the couch.

"What have you decided?"

"I think I'll share a bed with you for the night." Gwaine's eyebrows shot higher than seemed humanly possible and his smile turned into a cheeky, prideful grin.

"Oh yeah," Merlin said when he and Arthur were alone in the room, "just because I said I wanted to share a bed doesn't mean I want to... you know. We barely know each other."

"Of course. And before we turn in for the night, there's something I should tell you."

"Oh God, you're not one of those people that sleeps naked, are you?"

"No, no, of course not. But I do talk in my sleep. At least, that's what Gwen says."

"Well, I'll be sure to let you know in the morning if you say anything of interest."

"Alright then. Now, I know you've said none of the other stuff, but we can still kiss, I hope?"

"You are such an idiot," Merlin answered, crashing his lips against Arthur's. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, and then they snuggled into bed, keeping each other warm.


	14. Chapter 14

Arthur opened his eyes and looked at Merlin, who was still sleeping. The gentle rise and fall of Merlin's chest and the peaceful smile on his face made him look like an angel who was resting in Heaven. Arthur watched for a little while, then kissed Merlin on the forehead. Merlin smiled, his eyes still closed. Arthur kissed Merlin's neck, slowly making his way up to Merlin's lips, which he also kissed. Merlin opened his eyes and lazily sat up, wrapping his arms around Arthur.  
"I could get used to waking up like this."  
"I bet you could." They shared a look of contentment and adoration.

The moment was broken by Gwaine's shouts. "Arthur, what did you do?!"  
"Hey, I helped!" Merlin insisted. Gwaine stormed in. His grey hair looked rather sticky. The smell of maple syrup was overpowered by the stench of rotten eggs. His lips looked chapped and nasty, with flecks of white on them, and they were pressed tight in anger - or maybe they were stuck together; it was hard to tell. His face looked oily and slightly orange, and the faint scent of pumpkin could be detected. Said face was scrunched up in frustration as Gwaine glared at the both of them.

Arthur laughed. "That's what happens when you mess with me."  
Merlin smiled. "Just because we got together doesn't mean we're happy about being set up. Have you talked to Gwen yet?"  
"No, why?" Gwaine asked, his features shifting to show apprehension and concern.  
"You'll see," Merlin replied mysteriously, a mischievous smile on his face.  
"Now then, if you don't mind, Merlin and I have places to be," Arthur said, pulling Merlin close to him.  
Merlin looked into Arthur's clear blue eyes, mesmerized but also confused. "We do?"  
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Yes, you idiot."  
"Prat." Merlin punched Arthur lightly.  
"Buffoon." Arthur punched him harder.  
"Clotpole." Merlin pushed him into the bed.  
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Let's get going, Merlin." He got up and brushed off his clothes, as if Merlin had left dirt on him with his words.  
"Ha! You've run out of insults, you turnip head!"  
"And you haven't." Arthur smiled.  
Merlin smiled back. "I don't think I ever will."  
Arthur raised his eyebrows. "I'll have to test you on that some time. For now, let's go." Finally, they did, with Gwaine yelling and swearing that he would have revenge.

"Where are we going?" Merlin asked, looking at his surroundings as if that would give him a clue.  
"It's a secret," Arthr replied conspiratorially.  
"But I must know!" Merlin was practically jumping in his seat.  
"You will, but not just yet. Have patience, Merlin." Merlin sighed.

They drove increasingly farther away from the city, and Merlin gave Arthur increasingly confused looks. Merlin remained silent, knowing that further questioning would be futile. He watched as buildings disappeared, to be replaced by... trees? They finally stopped at an entrance to a forest.  
"Really, Arthur?" Merlin crossed his arms as if to say 'I expected better than this from you, of all people'.  
"This isn't our final destination," Arthur replied with a smile. "I don't know how to drive a car in a forest without destroying at least one of the two, so we'll have to take the rest of our journey on foot."

Merlin laughed and nodded. "Alright then. Take me to this wonderful place." Arthur nodded, pulling a basket out of the car. "Are we having a picnic?" Arthur nodded. "Now I know it's going to be good," Merlin said with a smile.

After hours (it had only been minutes) of trekking through the forest, they reached a small clearing with a waterfall that fed into a lake. Merlin's eyes widened. "This is beautiful."

"It's my secret hideaway," he whispered with a smile.

"You mean no-one else has been here?"

"Not that I know of. Just you and me." They smiled. Merlin saw a rock just underneath the waterfall. He gave Arthur a questioning look, as if asking for permission. Arthur nodded encouragingly. Merlin waded into the water and sat on the rock, letting the water wash over him.

Arthur stared at Merlin with a mixture of desire and adoration.

"What?"

"You look absolutely gorgeous when you're wet, Merlin."

"And I don't usually?" Merlin asked with a cheeky smile, water dripping down from his face as he spoke.

"You always look great, but you look especially adorable when you're covered in water." Merlin smiled, and then he got a wonderful twinkle in his eyes. "Uh-oh. I'm pretty sure that's a 'I'm about to do something bad to Arthur and I'm relishing the thought' look."

"Of course!" Merlin said with a smile before pushing Arthur into the water.

"You'll pay for that!" Arthur yelled with a mock anger that his broad smile belied. Arthur dumped Merlin into the water, even though Merlin was already wet. They splashed around in the water for a while, until they got tired and sat on the grassy banks of the lake.

"My shirt is soaked," Arthur complained.

"Take it off, then," Merlin suggested nonchalantly. Arthur raised his eyebrows, but did as Merlin suggested. He then reached towards Merlin. "What are you doing?" Merlin reflectively moved back a little.

"Come on, it wouldn't be fair to have me be the only shirtless one." Arthur succeeded in pulling off Merlin's shirt, and Merlin just rolled his eyes. They proceeded to eat the picnic Arthur had prepared.

"Where did you get all this?"

"Nicked it from the kitchens at my father's house."

"Kitchens? Plural?" Merlin stared at Arthur in a mixture of amazement and awe.

"It's a big house. Father is so rich, we're practically royalty."

"Why don't you live with him then? I mean, your flat's nice and all, but it's no mansion." Merlin got a faraway look, imagining what it would be like to live in a mansion.

"I needed my space. Being in Uther's shadow was bad enough; I didn't need to be in his house, too. It was also about proving that I could make it on my own, that I could provide for my own housing and food and all that." Arthur sounded a little like he was trying to prove himself to Merlin as well.

"But you still work at his company," Merlin pointed out, confused.

"Currently. But I'd like to start my own company," Arthur answered, a hint of pride in his tone.

"I can just picture it: 'Royal Prat Lawyers'," Merlin joked, spreading his arms.

"Shut up!" Arthur punched Merlin's arm playfully. Merlin punched him back, an infectious smile creeping across his face. They continued to eat, exchanging jokes and insults.

"So you said this was your secret hideaway. When do you come here?"

"Any time I need to get away from responsibilities. Or my father. The two are usually related. I've been known to take a day off to go here for some alone time." Arthur got nostalgic about all the great times he'd had in this secret hideaway.

"And you've never brought anyone else with you?"

Arthur shook his head. "This is very special and private. It's like my heart and soul."

"I'm honored," Merlin said, awed. They lay next to each other on the grass, eyes gazing up at the clear, sunny sky.

It was Merlin who broke the silence first. "When are you going to tell him?" Arthur pretended not to hear. "He'll find out eventually. It'll be better if he finds out from us."

That got Arthur's attention. "Us?" He sat up and looked at Merlin.

Merlin sat up, too. "Uther doesn't sound like the sort of man I'd want to leave you alone with to deliver news like that," he said, sounding more than a little scared of the man who could intimidate Arthur.

"And he's not the sort of man whose wrath I'd want you to be on the receiving end of," Arthur replied firmly.

"Aw, you're so sweet." Merlin kissed Arthur on the nose. Arthur smiled, then chuckled. "What?"

"We sure do kiss a lot."

"That's because you're so good at it," Merlin smiled, moving in for another kiss.

"You, too."

"You're my king," Merlin said affectionately.

"If we're going by names, that would make you my... wizard? manservant?"

"How about your consort?"

"Hm... Maybe." Arthur was silent for a moment. "No, I've got it! You're my queen!"

"But I'm not a girl!"

"Man or woman, you're still my queen." Merlin sighed and shook his head in defeat.

"I wish we could stay here forever," Merlin sighed.

"Me, too." Arthur smiled. "Say, didn't you tell me you were an artist?" Merlin nodded. "Can you draw me something?"

"For you, sire, anything." Merlin thought for a moment. "Do you have any paper?" Arthur rummaged through the picnic basket to find a sketchbook and a pencil. "You planned for this, didn't you?"

"Maybe..." Arthur said sheepishly. Merlin took the drawing materials and began his sketch. His movements were fluid. Arthur could see how Merlin poured his emotions into his work, and it fascinated him. It was a marriage of pencil and paper, facilitated by the artist.

A while later, Merlin took the pencil off the paper. "All done!" he said with a smile. Arthur took the paper to see a beautiful sketch of himself lying on the ground, eyes closed, a serene smile on his face. "Have you ever considered becoming a model?"

Arthur smiled. "That's what I'll do if the lawyer business falls through." They laughed at that. Arthur noticed Merlin had picked up the pencil again. "What are you drawing now?"

Merlin gestured to the scenery. "I wouldn't want to forget this moment." Arthur nodded in understanding. "Of course, whatever I draw still won't quite do it justice."

"True. But you have your memories. And you have me." Merlin smiled.

"Have a nice honeymoon?" Gwaine asked when they arrived at Arthur's flat, hand in hand. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"We're not even married yet!" Merlin protested.

"_Yet_?" Gwaine noted, a smirk creeping across his face. "This one's a keeper," he said to Arthur.

"Pay no attention to Gwaine; he doesn't know what he's talking about," Arthur insisted in an exasperated tone.

"Oh? So you _don't_ think I'm a keeper?" Merlin asked in mock disappointment, stepping back from Athur and letting go of his hand.

"Okay, so maybe he's right about that," Arthur admitted, pulling Merlin back towards him.

"Good, because I certainly think _you're_ a keeper," Merlin said with pride.

"If only my father were that easy to persuade," Arthur sighed, his expression becoming somber.

"We'll convince him, don't worry," Merlin said, looking into Arthur's eyes with determination.

Arthur gave a weak smile. "Tell you what, if we're still together after a week - which I certainly hope we'll be - we'll tell Father. Together."

"Deal."

"Seal it with a kiss?" Arthur asked. Merlin nodded and kissed Arthur.

"Get a room, you two," Gwaine said, rolling his eyes. They sighed and went to Arthur's bedroom.

"Sounds like you've got yourself quite the man," Gwen replied, sitting on the couch in her newly restored room. Merlin nodded. "Fancy a double date with me and Lance tomorrow?"

Merlin smiled. "Of course. It seems I can't go a day without seeing Arthur."

"Ah yes, I remember that stage."

"Wait, you mean it doesn't last forever?"

"No, but then it blossoms into a beautiful, loyal, patient love. It's still love, just stronger."

"I don't know that my love could get any stronger; my heart is already bursting."

"You'd be surprised," Gwen noted sagely.

Arthur was on the phone. "Hi, Elena... Yeah, I know it's been a while, sorry about that... Yes I did, you were right all along... Of course he's an amazing guy! I wouldn't settle for anything less... Messy black hair, beautiful smile, just all-around gorgeous... Yes, he's got a personality, too. He's smart, cheeky, kind - he's got it all... Thank you. So have you found anyone? You came out ages ago, but last time we talked, you were still single... Oh, you did? What's her name?... Well, send Mithian my love... Yes, of course I'll send Merlin your love... You want a double-date? When?... Tommorrow sounds fine... See you then. Bye!" As soon as he hung up, his phone rang again. Arthur looked at the picture of Merlin with his adorable smile, and Arthur's felt his heart surge as he formed a smile of his own.

"Hello, my queen?"

"I thought we'd gone over this, _sire_."

"Oh fine, Merlin. Way to be a killjoy."

"Apologies, my lord. I did not mean to interrupt your fun. My goal is to serve you." Arthur rolled his eyes, then remembered that Merlin couldn't see him, so he sighed.

"What did you call for, Merlin?"

"I was thinking maybe we could go out for a date tomorrow? Well, a double date. Gwen and Lance invited us." Arthur laughed uproariously. "What? What's so funny?"

"Elena and Mithian invited us to a double date tomorrow. It'll be a double double date!"

"Wouldn't that be a quadriple date?"

"No, that would be four couples at once. Come on, Merlin!"

"Hm, I guess it could work. Elena and Mithian for lunch, Gwen and Lance for dinner?"

"Sounds good to me."

"See you then."

"You can count on it, Merlin." Arthur hung up and looked at the ceiling with an idiotic smile on his face. He was in love, and it was wonderful. At the same time, Merlin looked up at the ceiling with a similar smile on his face. It seems the two were, indeed, destined for each other.


	15. Chapter 15

**Fortheloveofcamelot has entered the room**  
**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot has entered the room**  
**Imthegreatestwarlock has entered the room**  
**Lady_of_the_Lake has entered the room**  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** How are the ratings?  
**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot:** Great! And your views are climbing. I suspect in a few episodes, we'll reach our goal.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Does that mean the show will end :(  
**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot:** Not necessarily. If you both have the time, you could keep going.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** :)  
**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot:** By the way, Vivian is really upset. She's seen the show, and she didn't know until now that you're homosexual.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** I literally told her that up front. Guess she didn't believe me. Oh well.  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Have you got the next episode's script ready?  
**Lady_of_the_Lake has sent you a file: "Episode 4 script"**  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** Great! Let's get started.  
**Fortheloveofcamelot has left the room**  
**Imthegreatestwarlock has left the room**  
**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot has left the room**  
**Lady_of_the_Lake has left the room**

Arthur and Merlin sat at a table across Elena and Mithian. "Hi, I'm Arthur and this is Merlin."  
"What, I don't get to introduce myself?" Merlin asked with mock indignation, punching Arthur lightly on the arm. Arthur punched back.  
"Next time, you can introduce the both of us."  
"Fine," Merlin said, sighing.  
"I'm Elena."  
"Hi, I'm Mithian," Mithian said a little nervously. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but um... when did you find out? That you were... you know... gay?"  
"I've known practically all my life," Merlin said with confidence. "When I was a little kid, the boys would do cute things for the girls, and I would do cute things for the guys. When I got to be a teenager, my friends talked about being attracted girls, and I realized I didn't feel that way about girls, but I felt that way about boys. I asked my best mate Will about it, and he told me it meant I was gay. He explained what that meant and told me I was still his friend. Then he kept trying to set me up with his friends."  
"Did you hook up with any of them?" Elena asked, curious.  
"Well, I tried once, but... it didn't work out," Merlin answered, his expression souring.  
"But what about you, Arthur? When did you know?" Mithian asked, quickly changing the subject.  
"I'd been through a lot of failed relationships with girls, and I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. I asked Elena about it,"  
"And I told him he was doing everything right."  
"But then she asked me how I felt about the girls I'd dated, and I realized that I hadn't actually loved any of them. She asked me how I felt about guys, and I described what I thought was friendship, but she said that was what love was. She confessed that she was a lesbian and explained what it meant to be homosexual. So she's the one we owe this meeting to."

The waiter came by to take their order. "Hi, my name is John and I'll be your server for this afternoon."  
"I'm Elena, and I'll have the steak."  
"I'm Mithian, and I'll have... Oh, I can't decide. Surprise me."  
"You won't be disappointed," the waiter said with a smile. "Now then, what's for you, young man?"  
"I'm Merlin, and I'll have the pizza margherita."  
"I'm Arthur..."  
"Merlin and Arthur? That's like destiny!"  
Merlin chuckled. "Like we haven't heard that one before," he said with a smile.  
"What will you have, sire?" John asked jokingly.  
"I'll have the chicken," Arthur said, not looking at the menu.  
"Destiny and chicken, hm. I'll be back in a little while."  
"Destiny and chicken?" Arthur asked when he had left. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."  
Merlin shrugged. "Could be worse."  
"That can be your ship name!" Mithian suggested enthusiastically.  
"What? No?!" Merlin and Arthur yelled simultaneously.  
"Come on, it's great!" Elena insisted.  
Merlin rolled his eyes. "Destiny and chicken. I'll be destiny, you be chicken."  
"Why am I chicken?"  
"Because you're afraid of your father."  
Arthur sighed. "There's got to be a better ship name."  
"I'll ask Gwen."

Several hours later, Merlin and Arthur were sitting with Lancelot and Gwen at Camelot Diner.  
"Remind me again why we picked this place?" Arthur asked.  
"Because my brother works here," Gwen reminded him. As if on cue, their water appeared. "Hi, Elyan! We were just talking about you." Elyan looked worried. "Don't worry, all good things."  
"Right. So what will you have?" The rest of the table ordered, and then it was Merlin and Arthur's turn.  
"We'll have the chicken," Arthur said.  
"With a side order of destiny," Merlin added, smiling. Elyan raised his eyes.  
"I don't think destiny is on the menu, but I'll see what I can do. Destiny and chicken, hm? Will that be all?" They nodded, and Elyan left.  
"What was that about?" Lancelot asked. "Did I miss something?" He looked at Gwen. "You promised to give me all the details!"  
"I didn't know about this!" Gwen insisted, just as confused as Lancelot.  
"Do you have a good idea for a ship name?" Merlin asked.  
Gwen shook her head. "It's not like you two need one, anyway."  
"What about Merthur?" Lancelot asked.  
"Merthur. I like it," Arthur said approvingly.

A few minutes later, Elyan returned with a chicken and a small cake shaped and decorated like Excalibur. "Does this count?" he asked. Merlin beamed.  
"It's brilliant. I'll thank you with my tip."  
"As will I, sir Elyan," Arthur said with a mock bow.  
"Thank you, sire." Elyan delivered the rest of the food and drinks.  
Gwen smiled and looked at Merlin and Arthur. "So, how goes it? I want all the details."  
"Gwen!" Lancelot admonished.  
Merlin rolled his eyes. "It's all right, Gwen's a friend, I have no problem sharing. As long as you're okay with it, Arthur?" he asked, wrapping his arm around his boyfriend.  
Arthur shrugged. "Why not?"

Countless stories and details later, it was time to go home. Arthur pouted. "Do I get a goodbye kiss?"  
Merlin rolled his eyes. "Yes, you clotpole," Merlin answered, kissing Arthur.  
"Merlin?"  
"Yes, Arthur?"  
"What is a clotpole?"  
"An idiotic, annoying person. Like you!"  
"Better be careful, I could put you in the stocks for that!" Arthur teased.  
"This isn't Medieval England, you dollophead!"  
"What is a dollophead?"  
"In two words? Arthur Pendragon."  
"You really do come up with the most ridiculous words. Like 'clotpole'. Really, Merlin?"  
"Oh, I didn't invent that one. Shakespeare did."  
"Ah, then I have the wonderful Bard to thank for your ridiculous nicknames for me."  
Merlin nodded. "I hate to go, but we can't keep talking here forever."  
Arthur sighed. "Until next time, dollophead."  
"Hey! That's my word!"


	16. Chapter 16

Arthur and Merlin walked into the bar, holding hands.

"Ah, the happy couple," the bartender exclaimed, noticing their approach. "What can I do for you?" he asked with a smile.

"Something special," Merlin said.

"Oh?" The bartender raised an eyebrow. "What's the occasion?"

"Well, it's been a week now since we met, so we figured it was time to commemorate the event," Arthur said with a smile. Merlin nodded, beaming.

"A week ago... Say, were you in that kissing contest last Friday?" They nodded. The bartender looked at them for a moment. He turned to Arthur. "You're the one what ran away!" Arthur nodded sheepishly. "And you still got the guy?"

"'The guy' is standing right here," Merlin pointed out, a little frustrated. "And if anyone was doing the 'getting', it's me." Arthur nodded.

"So, what will you have?" the bartender asked.

"I actually don't drink," Arthur said. The bartender looked at him incredulously. "My friends dragged me in here because they thought I needed a bit of fun."

"Well, this is a good place to have fun," the bartender conceded. "So, Merlin, what'll it be?"

Arthur looked at the bartender, then at Merlin, then back at the bartender. "You come here often?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I'm going to ignore the fact that you used the most clichéd pick up line in all of history." Arthur smiled. "But to answer your question, yes, I am something of a regular here. My mates think it's funny to get me drunk."

"Is it?" Arthur asked, curious.

"Maybe a little," Merlin admitted sheepishly.

"He's absolutely adorable when he's drunk," the bartender cut in. Arthur looked at Merlin curiously. Merlin nodded. "So, what do you want this time, Merlin?"  
"Surprise me," Merlin responded with a smile.  
"And you?" The bartender looked at Arthur.  
"I'll have whatever he's having, minus the alcohol." The bartender nodded and left to make their drinks.

"You know what this means?" Merlin asked.  
"We're in for some very strange drinks?" Arthur suggested.  
"Well, that too," Merlin said with a chuckle, "but I meant your father. We'll have to talk to him."  
Arthur cringed. "Yes, we did agree to that, didn't we?"  
"Don't look so wounded, Arthur, I'll be there with you. He can't be _that_ bad."  
"You'd be surprised."  
"Tell you what, though," Merlin said, rubbing circles into Arthur's hand, "I'll take you to see my mum after that. You'll love her!"  
Arthur brightened up a bit. "But will she love me?"  
"She can be a bit protective, but after that, she's really sweet."  
"What, like you?" Merlin gave Arthur a quick kiss before he could go on. "Just as long as she doesn't kiss me. That might be a little _too_ sweet." They laughed, and the bartender arrived with their drinks.

"I'll leave you boys to it then," he said with a knowing wink, walking away.  
Merlin looked at the strange concoction. "I'm almost afraid to try it."  
"Hey, it was your idea!"  
"You didn't have to get the same thing as me!"  
"What, am I not allowed to copy you?" Merlin rolled his eyes and began tickling Arthur. Arthur tickled back, until somehow they ended in an embrace. After a passionate kiss, they turned back to look at their beverages of dubious content. "How about we drink them at the same time?" Merlin nodded. "3-2-1!" They downed their drinks, then each looked to see the other's reaction. Merlin had a look of surprised confusion on his face, while Arthur was trying not to gag.  
"Maybe it's the lack of alcohol," Merlin suggested.  
"Or maybe you just have a horrible taste."  
Merlin rolled his eyes. "So, now that we've had a drink, wanna dance?"  
"If you want, but I'm getting you drunk before we leave this bar. Got it?"  
"As you wish," Merlin said with a smile. They walked onto the dance floor, holding hands, and saw Mordred. Arthur smiled a little. "You know him?"  
"Sort of. I met him here on the same day we met. I danced with him a while before I saw you." Merlin shrugged his shoulders, satisfied.  
Mordred walked over. "So I take it you succeeded, then?" They both nodded. "Well, I'm happy for you. Now, I've gotta go. I just met this girl called Kara, and we've really hit it off. Bye!"  
"I thought you said..." Arthur was confused.  
Merlin shrugged. "I guess he swings both ways. Now then, let's dance!"

And dance they did, until late into the night. Arthur continued with his mission to get Merlin drunk, which turned out to be surprisingly easy. Arthur then understood what the bartender had meant. Drunk!Merlin was like a little puppy, snuggling close to Arthur. They had a good night, and when the time came to part, they did so with the sad smiles of people who love being together and can't wait to see each other again. And they vowed that tomorrow, they would face the terrifying Mr. Pendragon.


	17. Chapter 17

Arthur was in his flat, talking on the phone. "Hello, Father... yes, I know I don't call often, sorry... fine, fine, but can you let me get to what I called you about?... thank you. I'll take you up on your offer of lunch... yes, I know it's about time, now let me continue... and I'd like to bring someone with me... no, not a colleague... no, not a friend... yes, a date... right, I'm sure "she" will be glad to meet you... see you then." Arthur put down the phone and sighed in frustration. After a moment's thought, he picked it up again.

"Hi, Merlin!... yes, it's great to talk to you, too... yep, I know, that's what I'm calling about... he said yes... oh, and there's one thing... no, of course you don't like where this is going because he, well, he thinks you're a girl... no, of course I didn't tell him that! He just assumed, and I didn't dare correct him... yeah, so just be prepared for him to be a bit shocked... okay, more than a bit... if it gets too nasty, we can always just leave... yeah, I would, it's about time I stood up to him... okay, great. Love you, bye!"

Some time later, Merlin and Arthur appeared at Uther's doorstep. Merlin rang the doorbell, then ran to hide behind Arthur.  
"It's not going to be _that_ bad," Arthur said, rolling his eyes.  
"Better safe than sorry," Merlin replied. Just then, Uther opened the door.  
"Hello, Arthur, good to see you again. It's been so long since the last time," Uther said with a frosty demeanor thinly veiled by a false smile.  
"Yes, the last time, when you all but disowned me for coming out as gay," Arthur muttered under his breath.  
"So, where is she? Or did you invent a girlfriend again?" Uther asked in a disapproving tone, the smile disappearing.  
"Oh no, my date's just a little shy." Arthur gently nudged Merlin, and when Merlin didn't respond, all but pushed him out into the open.  
"Hi," Merlin said with a nervousness Arthur had never seen before. But then again, Uther was a rather formidable person.  
"Arthur," Uther said, looking back and forth between the two of them, "unless I am very much mistaken, this is not a girl."  
"No, father. I was going to correct you on the phone, but I didn't think you would listen."  
"And what makes you think I'll listen now?" Uther asked, glaring. Merlin tried to hide again, but Arthur grabbed Merlin's hand and gave him a pleading look. "I have told you before that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated."  
"What, being myself? I'm an adult, Uther, I'm allowed to do what I want. And I will always choose to be myself rather than fit the perfect cookie-cutter mold you've set out for me. Got it?"  
"I'm a very reasonable person," Uther said, tension rising in his voice, "but this is one thing I will not accept. If you want to remain in my good graces, get rid of _him_." Uther pointed at Merlin in disgust.

"I have a name, you know!" Merlin said, finally speaking up. "My name is Merlin, and I am not some sort of "phase" or "toy" Arthur has, I'm a human being. But honestly, I don't care how you treat me. You're just some old-fashioned man who insists on being hostile to those around you. What I care about is how you treat Arthur. This is your own son! You raised him, and now you're telling him he doesn't have the right to make his own choices, that your desires matter more than his. You're talking to him like he's nothing, and nobody deserves that, especially someone who is your job to love and take care of. But guess what? He's an adult now. He doesn't need you. And I don't need you, either. We'll make it just fine on our own. It really doesn't matter what you think of us because we have each other, and that's what matters. But if you ever want your son to love and respect you, and if you ever want me to think of you as a decent human being, you _will_ accept our choices. And in the meantime, we will spend our time with those who accept us as we are." Still holding Arthur's hand, Merlin turned and started walking away, leaving Uther speechless.

"I didn't know you had that in you," Arthur said, surprised.  
"I didn't, either, I just got so angry!" Suddenly, Merlin was fighting to hold back tears.  
"Sh, it's okay, like you said, he doesn't matter." Merlin nodded, but his eyes were still watering. "Just let it out. You'll feel better."  
Merlin shook his head. "We're going to my mum's, right? If she sees me like this, she'll think you made me cry, and trust me, you don't want to see her get angry. Uther was bad enough."  
"I thought you said she's nice?"  
"Oh, she is," Merlin nodded, "but she can be very menacing when she gets all protective. Especially after... well, I guess I may as well tell you." Arthur nodded encouragingly. "My last boyfriend, Cenred... was very abusive. It was nasty."  
"Oh," Arthur replied, not sure what to say.  
"Anyway," Merlin said, quickly changing the subject, "I should call Mum so she knows we're coming."

Merlin pulled out his phone. "Hi, Mum!... yes, I am coming over, you know how I love your cooking... yes, yes, and your company, too - I thought that was a given... haha okay. Oh, and I have some exciting news for you... I have a new boyfriend... what? Oh, I nearly forgot about that... yeah, we'll do that first, and then we'll come over... don't be silly, Mum, of course he'll pass... yes, I'll call you back. Love you, bye!"  
"Test?" Arthur asked. Now it was his turn to be nervous.  
"Oh, um... after Cenred, my mate Will said that anybody I dated would have to pass his test. He just wants to make sure I won't get hurt again. You should be fine."  
"Oh, okay," Arthur said, relaxing.

After lots of missed turns and confusing directions ("I knew I should have been the one to drive!" Merlin complained. "Well, we wouldn't have a problem if it weren't for your rubbish direction-giving skills!" Arthur insisted.), they finally arrived at Will's house. Will invited them in, eyeing Arthur warily. He was short (well, shorter than Merlin and Arthur, anyway), but he was still intimidating. Will looked at Arthur a while longer, sizing him up, then began with the questions.

"Name?"  
"Arthur Pendragon."  
"Pendragon? As in the huge law firm?"  
"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"  
"Watch your tongue, Pendragon, or I'll fail you right now," Will warned Arthur. Arthur sighed. "If you're a Pendragon, that means you must be very rich."  
"Yes."  
"What are you doing with Merlin? Is he your boy toy?"  
"Absolutely not!" Arthur was incredulous.  
"Calm down, I'm just trying to look out for my friend." Merlin gave Arthur a sympathetic glance. "As you are in the public eye, I happen to know your previous dating experience. Arthur is your first boyfriend, correct?"  
"Yes," Arthur said, now bored.  
"Are you experimenting?" Arthur glared at Will and shook his head. "Very defensive... interesting..."  
"You would be, too, if people kept assuming you of the worst possible motives!"  
"I suppose. I'll just get straight to the point, then: have you ever hurt Merlin in any way?"  
"No."  
"Do you ever intend to hurt him?"  
"Of course not!"  
"Calm down, we're almost done. You really do need to watch your temper if you ever want to have a chance with Merlin. Last question: do you love Merlin?"  
"Yes," Arthur said, full of conviction.  
"And Merlin, do you love Arthur?" Merlin nodded and smiled. "Then I wish you both luck. And Arthur, if you ever hurt Merlin, you will have to answer to me. Understand?"  
"Of course. Come on, Merlin, let's go to your mum's."

Having learned from their last fiasco, Merlin drove Arthur to his mother's house. They arrived in good time, and she opened the door and gave them a big smile.  
"Hello, Merlin, good to see you as always. And you've brought your new boyfriend, I see. He passed the test?" Merlin nodded. "Lovely. Now then, why don't you two come in? I'm sure Merlin's told you of my legendary cooking skills."  
Arthur laughed. "Yes, but we have yet to see if they hold up to his high praise."  
"Oh, I almost forgot to introduce myself! I'm Merlin's mum, but you can call me Hunith."  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Hunith. My name is Arthur," he said, firmly shaking her hand. Merlin and Arthur went over to the table and Hunith started towards the kitchen. "So, is that it?" Arthur asked.  
"Sorry, what?" Hunith replied, confused and slightly insulted.  
"No criticism of my sexuality, no lengthy interrogation?"  
"Oh, no," Hunith said, smiling. "If Merlin's happy with you, that's good enough for me. Well, and you passed Will's test. If he hadn't interrogated you, I likely would have, but there's no need to interrogate you twice." Arthur nodded, relaxing.  
"See? I told you you'd like her!" Merlin said.  
Arthur sighed. "I'm going to have to do a lot of admitting you're right, aren't I?"  
"Of course!" Merlin answered smugly.  
"Speaking of telling people they were right..."  
"Oh my God, Gwaine and Gwen are going to gloat about this for ages!"  
Arthur sighed. "Yeah, well anytime they talk too much, I'll just drown it out with thoughts about you."  
"Or we could be sickeningly sweet."  
"Or both," Arthur said, kissing Merlin.  
"Both is good," Merlin agreed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot has entered the room**  
**Fortheloveofcamelot has entered the room**  
**Imthegreatestwarlock has entered the room**  
**Lady_of_the_Lake has entered the room**  
**Entertainment_at_Ealdor has entered the room**  
**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot:** Good news guys!  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** What is it?  
**Entertainment_at_Ealdor:** Can I say it?  
**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot:** No.  
**Lady_of_the_Lake:** Go on then, don't leave them hanging!  
**Destined2Bqueenofcamelot:** We've reached 1 million views!  
**Fortheloveofcamelot:** YES!  
**Imthegreatestwarlock:** Wait, does that mean...  
**Imthegreatestwarlock has left the room**  
**Fortheloveofcamelot has left the room**  
**  
**Merlin, Arthur, and the rest of the cast were suddenly teleported into Morgana's office. It was rather small, so they were all squished together. Arthur and Merlin didn't seem to mind, though.  
"We did it!" Arthur exclaimed, raising a fist into the air, accidentally punching Gwaine (who glared at Arthur and punched him back). Impulsively, Arthur grabbed Merlin and swooped him up into a kiss.  
"So it wasn't an act, then," Gwen said, as if she had known all along (which she probably had).  
"Oh, um... Arthur?"  
"Yes, Morgana?"  
"You should probably talk to Uther. He seems pretty angry. Oh, and bring Merlin."

"He's not a homophobe, is he?" Merlin asked as they walked to Uther's office.  
"He used to be, but not anymore. I don't know what this could be about," Arthur said, confused. They held hands as they walked, and when they passed Vivian, she glared at him. "Good thing we finished filming that movie," Arthur said to Merlin.

Finally, they arrived at Uther's office. Arthur knocked on the door, and it swung open instantly.  
"Sit down, both of you," Uther said. He looked a lot like the Uther in the TV programme. Arthur wondered if that was what this was about. Uther turned to Merlin. "Now then, your name is Merlin Emrys, correct?" Merlin nodded, trying not to show how terrified he was. "Why the hell are you not working for us?!"  
"Well, um..."  
"How much are they paying you?" Uther demanded.  
"Actually, sir, with all due respect, that was just a special circumstance. I'm not actually an actor."  
"You aren't?!" Uther asked incredulously.  
"No, sir, I'm a computer programmer."  
"Hm... I'm not sure if this is in your line of work, but do you know how to do special effects?"  
"Sure."  
"And you can do IT stuff?"  
"That is kind of my job..."  
"How would you like to work for me?"  
"Um... I'm not sure..." Merlin shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  
"As a technician. If you come work for me, I'll pay you whatever your previous employer did, plus extra for any acting job you'd like to do. You're a fine actor, and we could use more like you. Of course, if you still want to do your regular computer stuff, you can work here part time."  
Merlin's eyes widened. "Wow. I'll um... need some time to consider your offer, but I think I'll accept. It would be an honor to work here."  
"Good. Now then, Arthur, may I speak with you alone?" Arthur nodded as Merlin walked out the door.

"You work very well with Merlin," Uther said. Arthur nodded. "And you do much better acting gay than acting straight."  
"Well, that's because I _am_ gay," Arthur pointed out.  
"I know," Uther replied. "I'd like to put you in more gay films and programmes."  
"I could also play a bisexual person."  
"I'll take that into consideration. Now, about Merlin..."  
"Yes?"  
"Do you have... feelings for him?" Arthur nodded. "As I thought. I've noticed your chemistry with him on screen. You're good, but not _that_ good." Arthur nodded again, wondering where this was going. "I've been thinking about putting you two in more programmes or films together, that is, if he accepts."  
"I'd love that!"  
"Arthur and Merlin. Yes, it certainly does have a nice ring to it. And by the way, to what 'special circumstance' do I owe this success? Your programme was exceptional."  
Arthur thought for a moment. "Call it channel 5," he said at last.  
Uther raised his coffee cup. "To channel 5."  
Arthur nodded, raising his mug of tea. "To channel 5."


End file.
